Love & Sex

Young people think compliments are better than sex

By Virginia SmithJanuary 7th, 2011, 6:41 pmComments (21)

In either really funny or really depressing news, a new study shows that college students value praise above almost all other needs, including money, alcohol, and even sex. "I was shocked," said the study's author. "They liked to get a compliment rather than engage in their favorite sexual act."

As it turns out, young people like hearing about themselves so much that it's almost an addiction. "It wouldn't be correct to say that study participants were addicted to self-esteem, but they were closer to being addicted to self-esteem than they were to being addicted to any other activity we studied."

So what this must mean is that either the college kids in question were getting incredible compliments, the college kids in question were having really middling sex, or young people are really just incredibly narcissistic. Give us your theories (or your lavish, lavish praise) in the comments.

Comments ( 21 )

Maybe because college students are so easy nowadays and sex is so common, no one worries that much about getting any.
Then again, with the rise of Facebook, Tumblr, and other blogs where people post updates to show how cool they are and how cultured they are, it's pretty obvious that college kids are all about seeking acceptance among their peers.

Lawrence commented on Jan 07 11 at 7:05 pm

The author was "shocked" that people would rather feel happy with themselves above sex, booze and money?--all of which can be potentially empty, complicated, and destructive pursuits? I'm actually kind of blown away at the insight the college kids have and the lack of insight on the part of the grown ups. I do see the possible entitlement/narcissism issue, but the results are still a step forward in my opinion.

ms commented on Jan 07 11 at 7:17 pm

Someone on the USAToday board mentioned Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, which I think is spot-on. When there's no scarcity of sex, money, and fun, people tend to seek out the "higher", self-actualization needs. Though I'm probably a product of the "love yourself!" generation also.

ms commented on Jan 07 11 at 7:24 pm

Receiving a compliment is not the same as "feeling happy with themselves." The joy in receiving a compliment is in the validation that someone else is pleased with you.

teej commented on Jan 07 11 at 7:25 pm

Did college graduates proof read this article?

maru commented on Jan 07 11 at 7:39 pm

Anyone can have sex, anyone can make money or consume alcohol, but when you receive a compliment, it is specifically about you - someone noticed something positive that is exclusive to you. Also, compliments are less of an everyday thing. You can know that you're going to get sex or money, but every time you receive a compliment, it's a surprise. A good, accurate compliment is going to stand out and stay with you.

SJ commented on Jan 07 11 at 9:04 pm

sj- so so true

lc commented on Jan 07 11 at 10:03 pm

Yeah, every one of us is a unique and special snowflake. We just want to be seen and loved and hopefully not be run over by a road-clearing truck.

EXL commented on Jan 07 11 at 10:20 pm

A friend linked this article to her facebook page. I think it's cause she's trying to tell me something, I think it may need to be more blunt.

Snake in the Grass commented on Jan 07 11 at 11:56 pm

I'm a college student, and I think I'd rather receive a good compliment, especially from an authority figure, than get laid. Not by much, though. Like someone else said, sex is pretty easy to get in college. But I got to a huge state school, and it's really hard to get noticed. Anyone can pick up a girl at a frat party on a Saturday night, but I work really hard to get good grades, work at the library and write for two student newspapers. I'd much rather receive validation for all of my hard work than pick up some random Tri Delt. Both is preferable.

Doug commented on Jan 08 11 at 4:10 am

Doug, you sound just like my reverend.

Snake in the Grass commented on Jan 08 11 at 11:32 am

i don't know that this is such a bad thing. being complimented seems to involve more human interaction and stronger relationships than money, alcohol, or the meaningless empty sex people seem to think college students are having can provide. maybe its not so much the praise they love but the acceptance of people around them.

feel the love commented on Jan 08 11 at 4:17 pm

EXL-That was one of my favorite new quotes of the year. Amazing, I just had to repost that one on my Facebook.

wowwy commented on Jan 08 11 at 8:10 pm

I'd like some "alchohol"

V. Nabokov commented on Jan 08 11 at 9:54 pm

@V. Nabokov good catch, edited

Virginia Smith commented on Jan 08 11 at 10:02 pm

"anyone can make money" ... Compliments are all very well. But I'd rather have a job.

Not Working commented on Jan 09 11 at 8:32 pm

I'd have to go with that compliment thing too. "Nice tits." "Oh, you're huge!" "God, I can't get my hand around you." Those all ring so fine in my ear.

Twolane commented on Jan 10 11 at 8:29 am

Twolane has "nice tits" and a "huge" dick - DAMN!

stwskp commented on Jan 10 11 at 12:14 pm

@stwskp - You're jealous, aren't you?

Twolane commented on Jan 10 11 at 12:25 pm

This is why I use compliments to get college students to have sex with me.

KS commented on Jan 10 11 at 6:12 pm

what about the obvious win-win here: getting a compliment on how good you are at your favorite sex act?

joy commented on Jan 11 11 at 12:23 am

Young people think compliments are better than sex

Comments ( 21 )

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