Documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock (the trailblazer who discovered in Supersize Me that gorging on McDonald's every day is a poor dietary choice) released his latest movie, Mansome, over the weekend. Produced by Bluth brothers Jason Bateman and Will Arnett, the film explores the varied and unique grooming habits of modern man as he battles the advent of male beauty products, the increasing popularity of manscaping, and an age where the male identity is no longer defined by woodworking abilities or preferred blend of whiskey.
As far as investigative filmmaking goes, “men are hairy” is barely a notch above “fast food is bad for you.” And while the topic skews a little too closely to the annoying notion that we’ve lost what it means to be a man now that women are power executives too, the subject of the cosmetic male identity is admittedly a rarely addressed issue. Guys are faced with just as many media-induced image issues as women, and it’s always nice to see a little acknowledgment of their equally frail self-esteem. Besides, the film includes Bateman and Arnett on a day trip to a spa, and Paul Rudd taking advantage of the mysterious allure of the words “Aqua Velva." What else do you need?
But as a man incapable of growing anything more than the scruffiest of neckbeards and wispiest of mustaches, I can’t exactly relate to the dilemma. Baby-faced is my default option, and I can only watch enviously as celebrities like Zach Galifinakis talk about the thicket of raw, bear-wrestling testosterone covering their faces. That’s to say nothing of Jack Passion, one of the film’s main subjects and the ginger-bearded winner of numerous World Beard and Mustache Championships, which, yes, is apparently an actual competition. Check out the trailer below, and please, for the sake of your loved ones, quell any desires to try growing a mustache. It won't look good, I can assure you.