Talking to Strangers

Hooksexup asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

 

 
Rachael, 24

What do you do for a living?
I'm a hairdresser at Bumble & Bumble.

Does that ever get you dates?
No, mostly gay guys come to B&B.

So what does get you dates?
I go to a lot of underground parties. You meet a lot of interesting, creative people that way.

Is this your first makeout party?
No — my first, I was lucky enough to be volunteering/working at, so it made me less nervous because you're staff and can walk around and just be like, "Hi, how are you?" I usually start all the spin-the-bottle games, which is great because I was never cool in middle school. I've found people kiss in different ways at these things. Some give a little peck and that's the end of it; others just full on grab you and make out with you. And you're always standing awkwardly — there's a table in the middle! So you're leaning over and they have their tongue in your mouth and it's a really incredibly awkward position. People should learn to step around the table.

What's the best date you've ever been on?
After going through a difficult period, my current boyfriend and I recently had a day which reaffirmed why I'm with him. He lives in Philadelphia, which I hate, and it's been very hard. But we always have adventures together and like surprising each other with them. One time I surprised him by waking him up and saying, "In ten minutes, we're going horseback riding!" Then he's surprised me with hiking in the mountains. We've done trapeze lessons. But the most recent thing we did was rafting in the Hudson.

What's the craziest place you've ever had sex?
On top of a mountain in New Hampshire. We hiked, it was nice. There were people nearby, so we had to wait until most of them left late in the day. Coming back down we got scared because it was dark and we forgot our flashlights.

Ever been offended in the bedroom?
Sex with someone who did a lot of biting. A little biting is fine, but there are some things that should not be bitten. Things with a lot of Hooksexup endings in them, you know? I gave him a second shot, but it was so much worse. I had bruises all over my body for a solid week afterwards, not in visible places. He tried to contact me repeatedly after that — Facebook, drunken texting. Did not get it.

Have you ever offended anyone?
I think I've tried to sleep with people who weren't interested. They'd be like, "Whoa, we're just friends!" I mean, I'm pretty, but not everyone wants to sleep with me.

Any crazy exes that stand out more than the rest?
I tend to export my exes. When we break up they move very far away. But the craziest one I have is a married man I worked with. I broke it off because his wife got pregnant and I didn't want to deal with that. But he's pursued me on and off since then.

 

 
Jay, 35

What do you do for a living?
I'm an academic — urban studies, media studies.

Does that ever get you dates?
I certainly know I've never said that to get dates.

Ever been with any students?
It's not a cool thing to do, but I did cross the line twice, a long time ago when I first started teaching. I called this girl up on the flimsiest of excuses just to try to get her on the phone. But that was it, nothing ever came of it. There was a former student I thought had a thing for me — we hung out for a couple of months, ambiguously, then during the break I sent a few postcards and came on a little too strong. She ended up dating my best friend for two years, which was good — like, "Oh, you're just rejecting me — not my whole life and circle of friends." I wasn't wrong to do it, but it is a gray zone that I decided I'd rather not be a part of. And just by nature, from being a guy, you venture into that at some point — but I like to keep that to a minimum.

Have you ever offended anyone in the bedroom?
This girl I got together with — we started off very accelerated. She was about to go overseas for this study abroad program, so things happened intensely. At some point within the first few times we were making love, she started venturing with her finger towards my ass, and I was like "Whoa, let's not do that." She wasn't offended by that, but when a woman asks what your fantasy is — and this is when you have to be good at reading women, because I'm not — I said, because she was big on blowjobs, "I want to come on your face." She was like, "Eww!" And I'm like, "You want to stick a finger up my ass but I can't do that?" I don't think it's all that offensive, but it's certainly not PG.

Is this your first makeout party?
Yes, I like it so far.

How many people have you made out with tonight?
Three or four. It's been fun. It's funny to kiss strangers. I don't think I've played spin the bottle since —

Junior high?
Actually, grad school.

 

 
Sandy, 30

What do you do for a living?
I'm an admin for an IT company.

Does that get you dates?
No!

What does?
My natural charm!

So do men come to you or do you go to them?
It's in between. There was an internet dating period, too, that worked out well. I dated someone I ended up being friends with for a while. We went to dinner, then walked through the park. I'm a quaint, romantic kind of girl, despite being at this makeout party...

Where's the craziest place you've ever had sex?
On a Caterpillar tractor at a construction site. Boyfriend at the time and I were playing frisbee in the park. So walking home, we passed by this construction site on the way to the car and were like "Look! There's no one there." We started wandering around, one thing leads to another, I'm wearing a skirt, it's very convenient, then we're having sex on a backhoe seat. It was like, "Watch out for the buttons! Don't hit the lever!"

How was that?
It was fun, but pretty awkward. What if I hit one of the levers? We were worried about running things over! It was right by this new building!