What do you do for a living?
I'm a public-radio producer on a show called [name of show redacted].
So does that job ever get you dates?
No, because when I tell someone that I work in public radio... that's the unsexiest job that you can have. Like, "Oh, do you want to go out and talk about the national debt?" No.
Fair enough. So where do you get your dates, then?
I meet a lot of dudes in bars. If I want to make it happen, I have a lot to drink, and I hope he has, too. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
Do you have any dealbreakers with guys?
Uh, yeah. Yes I do. I can't date a shitty artist. I can't date a really bad actor or a guy who's in a band that sucks. I just can't do it.
I totally support this dealbreaker.
That's a big one. That's the only one that comes to mind, at least. Maybe based on recent experience.
Ooh! Well, do you have any weaknesses with guys?
I tend to like really tall, very lanky dudes. And I'm a sucker for a really well-dressed guy.
Okay, okay. Cool. Do you have any favorite hookups?
How graphic can I get? Is this a family website that you work for?
No, it's not. One guy, I was interviewing him, and he showed me his penis.
He showed you his penis? Wow!
He tattooed his own dick, with his initials.
His own dick? That would, actually, that would be a dealbreaker, if we could go back to that question. If I pulled down his pants and there was a penis with a tattoo on it, especially if it was his own initials. Can't do that one, sorry. Anyway, one time, I brought home this guy, we were very drunk, had sex, fell asleep afterwards. And in the early morning, he woke up all of a sudden and he went to the bathroom. He came back in the room and he was like, "I'm sorry. This has never happened before, but I just pissed in your bed." I was wasted, so all I could do was strip the sheets from my bed and sleep on my bare mattress, which was also kind of wet. But the way he worded it — "I've never done this before." — I spoke to a friend of his, and the week before he'd gotten very drunk and pissed all over her couch while he was sleeping.
Oh, wow.
You definitely should not tell people I work on [name of show redacted]. I will lose my job. "Public radio producer" is fine.
What do you do for a living?
Right now I'm a grad student. I'm studying interactive design.
Does that get you dates?
No. No. I look online, and that's about it. And then I join a dating service. And then I get freaked out and I stop.
You and I sound very similar. Do you have any weaknesses when it comes to guys?
I used to like musicians, but I'm so done with that. I dated a guy who was in a band — I'm done. So now I'd just take a conservative, chill guy.
Do you have any favorite hookup stories?
I don't know if it's favorite, but, the good old Uncle Kracker guy.
Wait. What?
He had a single, and I forget the name of his single. Uncle Kracker. He had... he was a one-hit-wonder. I went to one of his concerts with my girlfriends, we ended up getting on his tour bus and we each, like...
Oh my God.
I was just trying to be cool. I was nineteen.
Where are you from?
I'm from Oregon originally. I think people are actually more open to meeting people here than they are in Portland. There are a lot of single girls here, and if you have the balls to talk to a girl, then they'll probably talk to you. If you're friendly and not a dick, it's pretty open.
That's a good dating strategy. Don't be a dick.
Sometimes being a dick works. That worked when I went to school in L.A.
Where did you go?
I went to USC.
I went to UCLA.
Ugh.
You asshole.
This interview is fucking over.
So you've met the ladies in Portland, L.A., and New York.
So far this has been my favorite. There's a New York look that I like — five-foot-ten, brunette. I don't like blondes very much, so being in L.A. was kind of tough.
Do you have any favorite hook-up stories?
I lost my virginity in a church. And I'm Jewish, so that was especially powerful for me. I bent her over the altar and flipped off Jesus.
Are you serious?
That was actually the peak.
Holy fuck. Literally.
There's a private chapel in my neighborhood, and I was at the house of the girl whose family had the private chapel, and things just happened.
That's insane.
She was a slut. I probably could have done anything. We could have gone outside and done it in the street and that would have been fine.
Have you ever been offended in the bedroom?
I don't know. It's very weird... I've had a girl tell me my penis is small, and another one tell me it was big in the same week. I've always been kind of confused.
Can I ask how many inches?
Six and a half. On a regular day.
I feel like average is five and a half.
I don't know. You're the sex interviewer.
Anything above six I think is okay. You must be six inches to ride. So when somebody told you your penis was small, that's when you were offended?
Yeah. No, when it was big I was offended.
I don't know — maybe you're weird. What did you do?
I kept doing it. I don't care that much.
You were still getting laid.
Yeah. You can tell me anything.
Noted. Have you ever offended anyone in the bedroom?
After the first time I got a blowjob, I told her she sucked the passion out of me. And then we broke up. I actually wrote a song about it recently.
You're a musician?
No, just having a good time.
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rt commented on 04/08absolutely agree. best ever!
Me commented on 04/08Wade...just...oh boy...Wade.
smd commented on 04/08Wade was great! Would like to see them mix it up more with the young and old.
kb commented on 04/08Uganda represent!
jm commented on 04/08Devon can have me any way she wants.
h commented on 04/08Evan and Matt are hilarious--I laughed out loud. I think Wade's putting you on, though. Sophia Loren, my ass!
PO commented on 04/08Nobody was vapid and worthless this week! Yaay! Spring!
DCF commented on 04/08Wade made my morning. I can't believe a word of his story, but it was great anyway.
TwL commented on 04/08Ca't use "zeitgeist" more than twice a week—hilarious.
Hmmm commented on 04/08Devon looks like Natalie Merchant.
JJ commented on 04/08Fallen in love with both Rex and Wade... for two very different reasons.
SR commented on 04/08Best Talking to Strangers Ever!
Ben commented on 04/08Wade made my morning. Yes, he's probably lying. No, I don't give a shit. I am looking forward to being old so that I can drink during the daytime and tell obvious lies to young people.
an commented on 04/08Hey Devon, come down to Tampa :D
hgk commented on 04/08the guy whose strategy is not to be a dick is a total dick. he was the only bad one of the lot. we should come up with a new word for men who refer to women they have dated/slept with as sluts, because that is so uncool. LIke "slutfucker." Or "total dick."
JJ commented on 04/08Wade! Resurrecting Bukowski. Next Talking to Strangers definitely needs more of this age variation! Bad ass!
Lora commented on 04/08Bukowski lives on!!! YAY!!
Cat commented on 04/08Best one yet!! I M M D
Cin commented on 04/08Loved it... MORE, Hooksexup, please give us More!!
KS commented on 04/08I love the term "frizzy-haired Sarahs." Maybe it's because I'm a tall, blond boy, but I always thought the "frizzy-haired Sarahs" I met were hot.
eric commented on 04/08Shame on Matt! First of all, some of us Jews respect other people's religions. Second, Jesus was a member of the tribe!
Joe commented on 04/08Hooksexup, ya done good. Hit the showers, kid.
aa commented on 04/09@eric, naw that was hot hot hot. i'm jewish but was subjected to catholic schooling for god knows how many years. i'd defile that boy on an altar in a heartbeat. interested southern jewish boys... write me, baby.
DK commented on 04/09"I can't hear you." Easily best ever reply to a TTS question.
seo commented on 04/09wow
RWL commented on 04/09Jesse had sex with Unckle Kracker?? hillaaarious
AD commented on 04/09Wade's had a few JDs and Cokes. I can imagine him wobbling back and forth. Go Wade!
SS commented on 04/09HIlarious! Loved Wade so much. Definitely need to have more older people. Didn't really know if Devon was male or female...first couple questions thought he was a guy, last few realized she was a girl
Meg commented on 04/09All of these were great, "frizzy haired Saras" "quick girlfriend" "I'm not a deep man" "Uncle Kracker"oh god why! So great, and obviously not all from one place, better selection process.
Dan commented on 04/09Best Talking to Strangers EVER!!! This one will never be topped. Wade: Not only was Sophia Loren on a bus, but the words "Little Schmuck" are in her vocabulary. So funny.
Dan commented on 04/09Also, I don't see the gender confusion with Devon. She's a girl – a very, very cute girl.
V.S. commented on 04/09Matt kind of goes by the motto don't be a dick, then talks about bending some "slut" over in a church, flipping off Jesus, and telling a girl giving head she sucked the passion out of him. Jeez, I'm an atheist and even I think this guy is a schmuck. I love you, Wade!
smc commented on 04/09evan and devon should move down to texas and be my bff
ali commented on 04/10FANTASTIC! Best Talking to Strangers ever! From nerdalicious to totally off the wall. Ed Koch!!! Keep it up Hooksexup!
C.C. commented on 04/10I´d walk in Evan´s kitchen whenever he wants me to!
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| Talking to Strangers by Meghan Pleticha and Sean McGurn "I lost my virginity in a church." |
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