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Do you have a boyfriend? (No) Want one? (Yes) Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me. -Kevin M

A pal of mine used to get hit on whenever her boyfriend left her alone for two minutes. They developed a routine as follows. He'd come back from the bar and some sleaze would be leaning over her. The boyfriend would then (in a new accent each time) just say "Scuse me, mate..", barge past, and say to her "All right doll, fancy a fuck?". She'd agree, delighted..

I could never use this one, but my best friend approaches women in a bar and almost whispers, "My boyfriend's not here, is yours?" When they give him a weird look, he says, "I'm not gay. I just don't want to get beat up!" I've seen him use it time and again and it never fails to get a smile or a laugh and start a friendly conversation. After all, isn't that what a pickup line is supposed to do!? - Submitted by Chris the Limo Driver

I had a great and very sexy gal friend who would go to bars with me to look for playmates. From across the room she would signal, "Let's go, nothing here!", and I would start a conversation with the biggest studly man around. She would approach us, pull out a large bill and say, I'm horney, I've got cash and I wanna fuck, and takers? Naturally I would grab the cash and walk out with her on my arm. We got plenty of laughs over that one, but once, just to add to the tension, I didn't grab the cash or say anything thinking surely this guy will take the cash and try to leave with her. He didn't make a move, and we turned to our drinks on the bar. She was 19 and I was 25 and we are still great friends. That was 36 years ago. - Submitted by Gates