Send to a Friend
			Printer Friendly Format
			Leave Feedback
			Read Feedback
			Hooksexup RSS

Ashly, 24

I'm nervous about this date coming up. What's a good pre-game alcohol that will chill me out, but won't get me all wasted?

Champagne.

I want to plan a really sweet, intimate first date. You know, cook this guy dinner, put on some sexy lingerie, but I'm nervous. What should I do?

promotion

Dinner and lingerie on the first date. Wow. I'd say, if you're doing lingerie on a first date, you're probably not the type who gets nervous.

What's the best sex position for a hangover?
Phone sex.


What's the worst sex position for a hangover?

Anything oral.


Has anyone ever tried anything naughty in this store?

Well, there was this one time a couple summers ago, a little old lady walked in with a see-through plastic beach bag. A little while later, I saw her leave. Didn't really think too much of it.



Then I walked down an aisle to put my purse in the storage room, and I looked down and saw what looked like dog poop on the floor. I was working with the owner's son, and we looked to see if someone brought a dog in. Looked in the parking lot, no dog. So the owner's son cleans the poop up, and then he goes into the office and checks the security cameras.

What happened was this little old lady with the see-through bag had dropped her pants, and patted out a couple of logs of poop onto the floor. By pat out, I mean she had shat herself earlier in the day, and was walking around with a load in her panties, and wanted to get rid of it somewhere, so she plopped it on the floor.



Then she turned around, walked over and looked at the vodka. She grabbed the biggest, cheapest bottle of vodka we have, put it in her see-through bag, and left. No one caught her. I've never seen her before, and I've never seen her since. She just walked in, and got away with crapping and stealing.

Charlie, 24







I have a crush on a girl who doesn't drink. How do I get her into bed?

Hopefully she at least smokes some pot, because that would defuse the tension. Otherwise, figure out what her interests are, and do something romantic. Go bowling, or go to the beach and talk about what she likes. Then see if she wants to go back to your place.


I want to watch porn with my girlfriend. What's the best way to introduce this idea to her?

Just be bold. Personally, I wouldn't raise the issue unless I had some idea that she would be all right with it. Ideally, you know enough about her that you know she won't be offended, or turned off, or disgusted by the possibility.


I'm nervous about this date coming up. What's a good pre-game alcohol, that will chill me out, but won't get me all wasted?

I'd have to go with a vodka base. I'd maybe get a citrus-pineapple thing going on, maybe have a little banana flavor in there. One good, strong, happy drink.


What can you tell about a woman whose drink of choice is:


an Irish car bomb?

She probably loves to party, which is pretty cool. As long as she isn't in party mode all the time. I would have my hopes up that she'd be pretty crazy in bed. That would be a thumbs-up for me.



a pomegranate martini?

That's classy. It's trendy though, so it's kind of a double-edged sword. Since it's trendy, it wouldn't always be classy. The fruity cocktails would probably go along with someone who is pretty comfortable, sexually.


Crazy-expensive wine all the time?

That's awesome. That could be really snotty, but if you have the money, than I'm all about it. And I'd definitely go out to eat with you a lot — as long as you're buying. In bed, I would think this person's probably a little crazy. A taste for the expensive, and an insistence on only having really expensive things, says to me: megalomaniac.

Grace, 21







What can you tell about a man whose drink of choice is:


Budweiser?
Boring. Doesn't really know how to please a woman.



inexpensive merlot?

Trying to impress that special lady, you know, trying to get the romance going.


expensive merlot?

Maybe trying a little too hard. Especially for your local liquor-store girl.


Alizé Gold Passion?
Oh, man. Likes a lot of pussy, but isn't a very good lay. Hooks up with different girls every night of the week, that kind of thing.



I'm sad because I just got dumped. What should I drink?

A bottle of expensive pinot.


What should I do?
Go home, drink the bottle of pinot and masturbate. Then watch a sappy love movie.

Alex, 24







You're flirting, you think it's mutual, but how can you tell that you're definitely going home together tonight?
Generally, by the time you think it's mutual, you are pretty much sure you're going home together. Because — at least from my point of view — I'm normally the pessimistic one, who thinks I have no chance with the woman. So, my general rule is, when I think I actually have a chance with that person, I'm probably going home with them.


I want to watch porn with my girlfriend. What's the best way to introduce this idea to her?

Stop at your local liquor store and get red wine. Because red wine is the universal crowbar for introducing women to new things. Then, start out with some nice very, very vanilla porn — nothing too extreme — and work your way from there.


Work your way to. . . crazy-time porn?

Let her make the decisions. Let her tell you what kinds of crazy porn she's into. You'll probably find she's into more than she thinks.


I'm sad because I just got dumped. What should I drink?

A cheap bottle of whiskey. There's something cathartic about blacking out, and waking up in the morning with a terrible hangover. It helps you put your life in perspective.



What can you tell about a woman who drinks Irish car bombs?

She's probably going to be a lot of fun. That is not the typical trashy-girl drink. So it shows she's at least got some taste. I'd say, she's a B, to a B-plus.


I have a crush on a girl who doesn't drink. How do I get her into bed?

That's a tough one. Maintain relative sobriety for at least a week, and get good at conversation. Liquor is the universal icebreaker, so you're operating at a disadvantage.

Interviews by Kathryn Savage. Dating
Advice From... appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general
public? Send them to .