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Games to Film to Games to Film: Resident Evil Degeneration

Posted by John Constantine



Capcom, come on buddy, you know I love you. You been so good to me, you treat me right, you take me dancing and bring me flowers everyday. But we need to talk about the new CGI Resident Evil movie you’ve got going. It’s not that I don’t want to see the continuing adventures of Claire Redfield and Leon Kennedy, you know I do. But you are terrible at writing dialogue, Capcom. You have always been terrible at writing dialogue. Why, just look at all the Resident Evil games! People are still making “master of unlocking” and “Jill pancake” jokes twelve years after the game came out! If you insist on making this Resident Evil movie, please hire another writer. Not Paul W.S. Anderson.



On a serious note, Resident Evil Degeneration looks alright. I just think it’s very peculiar that it exists. There have already been three atrocious, mildly successful live-action Resident Evil movies, so Capcom can’t be looking to capture that audience with a dense, game-continuity driven feature like Degeneration. Hell, the audience for continuity can’t even be that big. The Resident Evil games are hugely popular because people like shooting zombies, not because they’re involved in its narrative intrigues. I hope Capcom isn’t just making this because Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children was successful. That wasn’t successful because it was good. It was good because Final Fantasy VII makes people go crazy.

Editor's Note: Turns out I was mistaken. Jill Valentine was almost a "sandwhich" in Resident Evil, not a pancake. Let it be known across the land that it was FPSer Cole Stryker who spotted the mistake, thusly marking himself as the bigger nerd.

Related links:


Games to Film: Paul W.S. Anderson
Capcom to Date, By the Numbers
The Five Greatest Enhanced Remakes – And Five That Weren’t So Great


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Amber Ahlborn said:

I'll say this much.  The visuals teeter on the edge of the Uncanny Valley.  I can't decide if it's because of the almost anime/almost realistic style or the animation or a combination of the two.  Advent Children had the same problem where sometimes the characters came off as possessed mannequins.  

July 28, 2008 11:40 PM

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about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Hooksexup, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia's prized possession is a certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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