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Personals Drama: I'm Not Cupid

Posted by spjv840

 

Anyone who has had a dating profile or done any kind of online dating knows the different kinds of annoyances that come along with it. The mindless winks, the one sentence "Your hot" messages complete with bad grammar/spelling, the "let's meet up for drinks" guy who thinks he'll get in your pants on the first date, the obviously married man who is trying to get a little side-canoodle while the Missus is away, etc.

I think, for me, the biggest pet peeve that I've encountered is a toss up between the persistent a-hole who doesn't get the message that I'm not interested and the guy who asks "Well, if you're attached, do you have any slim, single friends that you could tell me about and possibly introduce me too?" Um, no.

If I wouldn't agree to meet you myself, what makes you think I would tell all my single (and slim, don't forget the slim part) friends about you? Do I look like friggen Cupid here?

I wouldn't even agree to hook up a friend with someone offline, why would I even take on the duty of playing cupid with a complete stranger, who for all I know has a small pecker? Do you know how awful I would feel for hooking up a friend with an underendowed man? That's a lifetime of guilt right there, folks. Perhaps if they could find a creative and unique way to ask if I might know someone who would be interested in, maybe, creating a Hooksexup profile and, maybe, sending you a message. But this whole Cupid thing just doesn't work with me.

And then there's always the pet peeve of meeting that one person who pretty much floats my virtual boat, complete with Bukowski quotes, brains, cute profile pics and completely able to carry on a conversation beyond two sentences, but who lives on the other side of the country and finds me when I'm unavailable. I hate when that happens.

Related posts: Date Machine: You're Not My Type
Sex Machine: The Butt Sex Bandit
Sex Machine: Hot Sex Vs. Bad Sex
Celebrity Confession: David Duchovny is a Sex Addict
Celebrity Confession: Jessica Simpson Has The Perfect Guy
Of Bag, Baggage and Confessions


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Sep 05 2008, 03:56 PM
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Comments

amboabe said:

I'm pretty sure Bukowski had a small pecker...

September 6, 2008 1:05 AM

spjv840 said:

When it comes to Buk, it doesn't even matter.

September 6, 2008 12:51 PM

amboabe said:

It probably had pockmarks and a toenail growing off the tip as well.

September 6, 2008 8:26 PM

airheadgenius said:

My latest persistent emailer is going for the reverse psychology strategy..."I bet you are not going to reply" or "I bet you are not going to call". Errr, correct!

September 7, 2008 11:06 AM

CONFESSION OF THE DAY

CONFESS HERE!

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DATE MACHINE explores the triumphs and tragedies of your dating confessions. Look here for commentary, dating advice, and our own salacious (or ridiculous) dating stories.

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