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Personals drama: Profile pictures

Posted by airheadgenius

 

 

I just got home from a bar where my friends were DJ-ing. Bit drunk now and have the munchies, so feasting on popcorn. 

Anyways, whilst we were at the bar another friend of mine kept taking pictures. I hate hate hate having my picture taking so managed to turn away or put my hand in front of my face, but no doubt she got some horrible shots of me despite my best efforts.

I like my face when I look in the mirror. I don't mind it when I catch a glimpse of myself in some animated pose, but I rarely see a picture that I think looks like me. Because of my dislike of being photographed, I had a hard time coming up with profile pictures. I tried to get one of my kids in cahoots - he was 3 at the time - but the results weren't so special. Lots of pictures of walls with my arm in or me, sans head. Finally I resorted to the classic bathroom mirror pose accompanied by the macbook photobooth shot. 

If you are one of these types too, please at least give a nod to composition. Headless is not cute. A shot of your reflected grubby sink is not cute either. 

Zeitgeisty said that these shots are dismal and - can't remember what... lame? lazy? - but that's easy for him to say given that he's a complete poseur. My excuse: I can't bear to think that imagined me isn't exactly the same as real me, so I take my own pictures in my own bathroom mirror. 

That's all. Except to say that the popcorn is gone and there's nothing quite like corn puffs when you're drunk. Gnite. 

 

Here are some I made earlier:
If I don't get laid soon
Sex standing up
Is this the best you can do?
Are you insulted?
Juicy Lips
Dear John, F*ck Off
Cry, get mad, move on soundtrack

 

 The only booty I am getting tonight:

 

 


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Feb 07 2009, 01:20 AM
Filed under: , , , , ,

Comments

zeitgeisty said:

yuck! I hate white cheddar.

February 7, 2009 2:22 AM

another ugly person said:

If you find yourself hating most pictures of yourself, take video instead of stills, then play back the video frame by frame.  Out of the hundreds of frames you're bound to find at least a couple where your natural hideousness is mitigated.

February 7, 2009 11:12 AM

airheadgenius said:

zeit - the munchies are not very discerning. They tasted great drunk at 1.30 in the morning.

ugly - at least my natural hideousness is mitigated by my exuberant and wondrous personality. You on the other hand appear to be an asshat. My condolences.

February 7, 2009 2:57 PM

zeitgeisty said:

i like the guy's shoes though..

February 7, 2009 10:59 PM

recycledbrooklyn said:

Profile photos continue to elude me.  I've been generally pleasantly surprised though, as I've met women that look so much better than their photographs.  

I don't photograph well at all (no I'm not saying this to encourage women who might otherwise be turned off by my profile!) Digital photography tends to further flatten and fatten images and enhance a lot of flaws... like a small mole may appear as prominent as a nose.  A wrinkle may appear more like a deep crease.  A bit of flesh can appear as a fat fold!  Argh!  

All in all, this leaves me dependent on charm and wit... I guess I'm proper screwed!!!  

February 8, 2009 7:55 AM

another ugly person said:

Condolences?  More like congratulations -- I'm proud to be an asshat.  (Mark my words, one day we'll have a parade.)  I gave you some sound photographic advice, the least you could do is say "thank you."

February 8, 2009 1:08 PM

airheadgenius said:

zeit - the shoes are suitably flamboyant.

recycled - that's a mole? I honestly thought you had 2 noses and that was part of your individuality.

ugly - thank you for being an asshat.

February 8, 2009 3:23 PM

another ugly person said:

And thank YOU for being "hideous yet compelling"!

February 8, 2009 4:15 PM

loobetchka said:

yeah i agree.. there's a definite alchemy that occurs from the mirror to the camera... one time i had the camera up in front of the mirror i could see the camera screen and the mirror right next to it.. and there was a huge difference.. i hate photographs..

February 8, 2009 6:39 PM

airheadgenius said:

ugly - ahhh, you're reading all my blog posts! Bless your cotton socks.

loobetchka - finally we agree on something!!! This really is a red letter day.

February 8, 2009 9:31 PM

Drew said:

Part of the reason that I like my mirror image and not so much with photographs is that the mirror is, uh, mirrored. And I'm looking at my face from eye level and thus don't really see that whole double-chin issue.

Mirrors don't give you a true representation of what everybody else sees.  Which is unfortunate, because I think I look a lot better in the mirror, too. But what can you do? Everybody else sees those double chins that I don't see, which leads me only to believe that I just happen to think I'm better looking than everybody else must. Right?

February 9, 2009 4:59 PM

loobetchka said:

No.. some people just arent photogenic.. most people look better in person...and some people who photograph well look plain in person..

February 9, 2009 8:08 PM

zeitgeisty said:

I remember at a big political rally I LITERALLY ran right into Leonardo DiCaprio.. I mean face to face.. We were practically tongue kissing!!...

Anyway, up close, it took me like 20 seconds to realize who it was. In perswon, he was COMPLETELY plain.. I mean, just looked like an average joe, spotty skin, a bit pudgy.. Not in any way special... However.. ONSCREEN.. he just jumps right out at you, you can't take your eyes off of him... That whole thing about 'the camera loving' some people is not a myth.. it is fact...

February 9, 2009 10:14 PM

airheadgenius said:

Drew - sorry about the double chins. My entire face is weirdly and alarmingly much wider in the un-reality that is the photograph. I refuse to believe it.

loo - ahh, shame. I thought we'd turned a corner in our burgeoning relationship. Should've known you were still in Ass ^ land. (That's my new code for ass hat. Like it?)

Zeit - you know, he's never done it for me so I don't have a bubble for you to burst. I cannot speak for the devestation you might've caused others though.

February 10, 2009 11:28 PM

G_a_t_o_s said:

I got myself a tripod for next to nothing, and started using the self-timer on my camera.  Thank heavens for digital, it's easy and cheap and fast to take hundreds of photos and see the results immediately.  It didn't turn me into Ansel Adams let alone Vincent Van Gough but it certainly was a big improvement.

February 12, 2009 6:37 PM

CONFESSION OF THE DAY

CONFESS HERE!

ABOUT THE BLOG

DATE MACHINE explores the triumphs and tragedies of your dating confessions. Look here for commentary, dating advice, and our own salacious (or ridiculous) dating stories.

OUR BLOGGERS

FishnetsAndLight

Professional Dominatrix, lapsed English major and token black chick extraordinaire. I'm also a great big perv. Bend over.

Location:New York, New York
Looking for: Those who aren't too afraid.

Zeitgeisty

I'm an existentialist trapped in the body of a rational humanist. I've got a penchant for misanthropy and a flair for the obvious. I'm quick with a joke or a light up your smoke, but there's someplace that I'd rather be. I'm Zeitgeisty, pleased to meet me I'm sure. Visit my blog at www.walruscomix.com/zeitgeisty.

Location: Somewhere on the isle of Manhattan...
Looking for: A shining good deed in a weary world...

Airheadgenius

I am a fish out of water - an opinionated cheeky smiling English chick in a land of larger than life Americans. I don't understand the culture. I don't understand asking if we're exclusive. I don't understand this weird practice of decapitating penises. Some days I am definitely MILF material. Other days I feel more like the material on the inside of yer grannys' handbag.

Location: Brooklyn
Looking for: A stunning socialist with a propensity to pick winning lottery numbers

amboabe

I'm a smart ass writer who'll argue your ear off, hold your hand close, and tell you the truth whenever. I'm a fool and a hero, a confessional soul, and lover of life in every conceivably absurd way that it can come. I also paint my toenails.

Location: San Francisco
Looking for: A sail, not an anchor.

spjv840

Slightly neurotic, over-analyzing girl..err, woman, with too much charm for the average person to handle. Has a fondness for red wine, cheap beer and a good time.

Location: The Igloo, Canada
Looking for: Nothing mediocre

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