According to science, magic mushrooms can benefit your outlook and well-being. A study of 36 men and women who ate mushrooms in a lab and then hung out for 8 hours revealed that:
Fourteen months after taking the drug, 64 percent of the volunteers said they still felt at least a moderate increase in well-being or life satisfaction, in terms of things like feeling more creative, self-confident, flexible and optimistic. And 61 percent reported at least a moderate behavior change in what they considered positive ways.
One participant who sounds suspiciously like our college roommate reported:
"It was ... like taking off, I'm being lifted up," she said. Then came "brilliant colors and beautiful patterns, just stunningly gorgeous, more intense than normal reality."
And then, the sensation that her heart was tearing open.
"It would come in waves," she recalled. "I found myself doing Lamaze-type breathing as the pain came on."
Yet "it was a joyful, ecstatic thing at the same time, like the joy of being alive," she said. She compared it to birthing pains. "There was this sense of relief and joy and ecstasy when my heart was opened."
This confirms what we've always suspected: scientists get the best shit. We're through giving that one-eyed guy who hangs out at the park our cash.