No wonder it was so easy to change votes: we had no idea Ohio allowed random people to babysit voting machines at their own homes prior to the election. Anyone who thinks Ohio voted fair and square can at least admit that was a pretty stupid idea, right?
Speaking of Ohio and politics, Stephanie Tubbs-Jones was pronounced dead, then that was retracted, following a brain aneurysm. Tubbs-Jones, a black Congresswoman and hardcore Hillary supporter, is currently in critical condition.
Britney's condition has improved, so much so that people actually want to read about her latest diet...
"I have no sugar. I don't eat fruit or even fruit juice because of the sugar. I eat chicken and salmon and rice. I eat avocados. I'll have egg whites for breakfast and sometimes turkey burgers for lunch.
"I try to do just 1,200 calories a day. It may sound like it's not much, but it's actually a lot of food if you eat the right things.'"
The famous two-headed turtle was turtle-napped last night. How much ya wanna bet it won't be two days before the idiot who stole it will brag to one too many of his friends...
Another bet: How long before they make a movie of the woman who spent her 37th birthday robbing gas stations with her teenage son?
Maybe she spanked her kid too much or something. After all, according to Strollerderby, spanking is just a gateway drug to hardcore beat-downs.
Meanwhile, Paul McCartney denies he has plans to marry a virtually unknown "American socialite."
And finally: Moviegoers have been arguing for weeks about the open-ended climax to the Dark Knight-- spoiler alert! Haven't seen The Dark Knight? Then skip the next paragraph and go straight to the Related section, please...
The script for the blockbuster sequel was made available for purchase on Tuesday and soon after found its way online. It's a long read at 167 pages, but fans looking for confirmation on the fate of Dent need only look at page 163.
"Dent lies at the bottom of the hole, his neck broken," the stage direction, written by brothers Jonathan and Christopher Nolan, reads. "DEAD." (Capital letters their emphasis, not ours.)
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