If you could've made this story up, what would you name the suspect in a home invasion, who was there presumably to rape an 88-year-old woman, who then grabbed him by the balls until he ran away and was quickly arrested?
No, really-- what would be the best name imaginable for a guy like this?
How about Michael Dick? Seriously, that's the name of a guy making major national news today in Portland, Oregon... perhaps due to the fact that he got his ass kicked by an epically awesome senior citizen, who wishes to remain anonymous, after breaking into her house and throwing her face-down onto a chair, whereupon our hero of the day, wearing only a bathrobe, reached back and got a handful of his genitals. Dick(head) then ran out of there without a word, taking off in a car which was soon spotted by the cops.
Michael G. Dick, a 46-year-old resident of Dersham, faces indecency, burglary, and other charges.
Photo via wire services.
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