Register Now!

Media

  • scanner scanner
  • scanner screengrab
  • modern materialist the modern
    materialist
  • video 61 frames
    per second
  • video the remote
    island

Photo

  • slice slice with
    giovanni
    cervantes
  • paper airplane crush paper
    airplane crush
  • autumn blog autumn
  • chase chase
  • rose &amp olive rose & olive
Scanner
Your daily cup of WTF?
ScreenGrab
The Hooksexup Film Blog
Slice
Each month a new artist; each image a new angle. This month: Giovanni Cervantes.
ScreenGrab
The Hooksexup Film Blog
Autumn
A fashionable L.A. photo editor exploring all manner of hyper-sexual girls down south.
The Modern Materialist
Almost everything you want.
Paper Airplane Crush
A San Francisco photographer on the eternal search for the girls of summer.
Rose & Olive
Houston neighbors pull back the curtains and expose each other's lives.
chase
The creator of Supercult.com poses his pretty posse.
The Remote Island
Hooksexup's TV blog.
61 Frames Per Second
Smarter gaming.

Scanner

This Week in Sex: We Couldn't Stuff It All In

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

We hope this is real and not the viral marketing work of some jean company...

Sometimes the stories are too small for their own posts. Sometimes there are two many stories for one week, which is definitely the case here.

Today, we'll present: the Not Ready For Daytime Players... in This Week in Sex, featuring tales of football teams, Bollywood nudity, Melissa Joan Hart, Playboy, brothers, and... Susan Boyle?!

A minister in Florida (where else) is being investigated for possibly sexually assaulting members of a high school football team. The man allegedly promised his victims help in their athletic careers-- not sure how his religion fits into sports. Maybe he promised to rig the coin tosses?

Apparently, there will be full frontal male nudity in a Bollywood movie. (We can't confirm that this is actually the first legitimate male nude scene from that genre, but it sounds about right.)

Melissa Joan Hart says she never did Playboy because her Maxim cover caused her brother too much embarrassment.

The State of Nevada decided not to tax brothel sex, but not before this classic quote was delivered:

"I don't know why people won't recognize that we have a legal industry," state Sen. Bob Coffin, who introduced the legislation, told the Associated Press. "I'm willing to go in and do the dirty work if no one else will."

Thanks, Senator, but your sexpertise won't be required. Moving on...

Those scary-lookers had some of the loudest sex we've ever heard (of.)

In Indiana, two little girls walked in on group sex in the bathroom of their local people Taco Bell.

Unlike our cheerleading coach friend, this woman deserved get fired: a teacher was given the boot for taking a bunch of girls to a strip club. The biggest problem is that some of the girls were under 18 and could've been arrested.

And the new porn marketing gimmick is officially is to offer whomever dominates the news a role in adult film in exchange for a million dollars:

See what [Publicity-Hungry Production Assholes] did there? Set up an entire website for something that will never happen (much like the Octomom porn) and then sit back and watch the traffic skyrocket for a headline that reads "Susan Boyle Does a Porn (Maybe)." Chances are, Boyle will never even see this site, and has never been contacted by these people. But just associating their adult films with a recent phenomena is the oldest trick in the book. Although who would ever pay to see Boyle lose her virginity on camera is another story alltogether.

 

Related:

Fox News Defines the Slang Use of "Teabagging"

This Teenage Sex Tape Craze Is Getting Out of Hand...

No One's Getting Laided On Facebook Anymore

Tropical Ants Have Completely Done Away With Men


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Giulia said:

The logo on the side is that of a major commercial radio station in Italy. Which makes me think this may actually be a hoax. Or maybe not. I'll get back to you with more info.

April 18, 2009 8:43 AM

Giulia said:

OK, I checked and one of my friends could tell me the pic was taken at a music festival sponsored by Heineken in Italy (he made the deal with Lee jeans). Which makes the picture at least a few years old. From the look of it, it was photoshopped (it didn't end up in the news, like it would have, had it been real). Unhelpful, I know.

April 18, 2009 10:10 AM

Brian Fairbanks said:

Yeah, it doesn't look real, but I'm still holding out hope. And yeah, it's definitely a few years old... I found it months ago and saved it in hopes I would have an excuse to trot it out. Thanks, Giulia.

April 18, 2009 11:01 AM

George said:

Hi,

This is a wonderful opinion. The things mentioned are unanimous and needs to be appreciated by everyone.

George,

<a href= https://www.officejobuk.com>Office Jobs</a>

April 20, 2009 5:59 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

in

Archives

about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

Send us links!


Tags

we recommend