Our fearless – and quite possibly senseless – movie janitor is watching every movie on the IMDb Bottom 100 list. Join us now for another installment of Unwatchable.
This inexplicable Bill Cosby vehicle is remembered as a monumental flop, which implies that some money must have actually been spent to produce it. From the evidence on the screen, said money must have gone to Bill Cosby, Bill Cosby’s personal assistant, Bill Cosby’s pool man, Bill Cosby’s bookie and perhaps even Bill Cosby’s proctologist.
An opening montage promises much: Cos driving an armored Porsche. Cos performing ballet in a spaceman outfit. Cos riding an ostrich through a flaming neon sign. Had the movie simply continued in this vein, presenting one random, bizarre Cosby feat after another for its entire 84-minute running time, it might have been more entertaining and made much more sense than the existing feature.
Sadly, there is a story of sorts, involving a crazed vegetarian bent on world domination, which she plans to achieve through animal mind control. After various CIA agents are attacked by squirrels, gophers and rainbow trout, Agent Leonard Parker (Cosby) is called out of retirement to handle the case. (The joke of the title is that Leonard’s previous five adventures have been confiscated in the interest of world security. Sadly, the same criteria apparently did not apply to the Ernest movies.)
Slapstick sequences featuring Leonard battling vegetarian warriors by firing missiles from his armpits alternate with limp scenes of domestic comedy that might have been lifted from one of the star’s failed post-Cosby Show sitcoms. A subplot about Leonard’s 20-year-old daughter performing nude in a play seems inspired by Cosby’s well-publicized distaste for Lisa Bonet’s raunchy shenanigans in Angel Heart. In the meat-throwing climax, a gay henchman accidentally swallows a hot dog, causing his head to explode.
Some of you younger readers may feel that I’m being unfair to Mr. Cosby, who has done so much to entertain us over the years. What you may not remember is that even Cosby warned his fans not to shell out for this one when it opened in theaters. He may be responsible for producing, co-writing and starring in Leonard Part 6, but at least he got one thing right.
Previously on Unwatchable:
45. Another 9½ Weeks
46. 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain
47. Creepshow 3
48. Cool as Ice
49. Laserblast