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Rose & Olive
Houston neighbors pull back the curtains and expose each other’s lives.
Scanner
Your daily cup of WTF?
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A peak of what's new and hot at Hooksexup.
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Almost everything you want.
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An intimate and provocative look at Siege's life, work and loves.
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Autumn Sonnichsen
A fashionable L.A. photo editor exploring all manner of hyper-sexual girls down south.
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The Hooksexup Film Blog
Chase
The creator of Supercult.com poses his pretty posse.
The Remote Island
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61 Frames Per Second
Smarter gaming.
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Brandonland
A California boy in L.A. capturing beach parties, sunsets and plenty of skin.
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By the dawn's early light, the ripe curves of the Capitol dome and the Washington Monument's shaft gleamed whitely. Fresh from the city's after-hours fetish discos, oxygen speakeasies, and recently legalized VirtualSex clubs, sleepy revelers waited at a helibus pad in clusters, examining their enviro-bodysuits for damage and blinking up at the Endangered Tropical Lagoon Blue (TM) scrim of an early spring sky. Nearby, delicate cherry blossom petals sponsored by The Sovereign Nation of Wal-Mart fluttered like parade confetti onto a lively crowd massed eagerly outside the city's most popular attraction — the U.S. National Swinger Hall of Fame.
At last, the front doors to the building swung open, and eager visitors rushed in — pink with anticipation, holo-cams bouncing around their necks — and hurried to secure tickets for the institution's famous tours and attractions. High in the lobby's vaulted atrium, above the happy throng, fluttered banners announcing that this year marked the twentieth anniversary of the National Swinging League ("Two Decades of Sharing the Love").
"That's right, you all. Twenty years!" A pert, ginger-haired tour guide with a Bible-Belt twang, the dangerous silhouette of a CybeRockette and a sleek microphone headset addressed a group of fifty tourists. They stood beside a life-sized titanium tableau depicting the first All-Star Swinging Series champions in their winning configuration, the Twelve-Point Alabama Slammer. "I know it feels like swinging has always been as much a part of the American way of life as it is today." The tour guide paused for effect, looking over the faces of the visitors around her: families with children, young couples, a few foreigners clutching digital translation devices, an elderly foursome on motorized scooters in matching golf visors, embroidered with the SwingerWorld Gated Communities logo.
"You know what's what," the guide winked at them. "You know it's been just twenty short years since swinging as sport established a formal league, with only two conferences, eight teams, and no sponsorships! Can you imagine? Only fifteen years since this beautiful building you stand in here was opened to the public as our official Hall of Fame!" Her sweet voice dove and swooped like a tiny honeysuckle-scented rollercoaster, all crest and plunge, promise and thrill. "And of course it's been a mere ten years since, by the decree of President Schwarzenegger, swinging was officially declared this great country's national pastime! And if you'll follow me, we're going to learn a little more about the illustrious history of this national pastime. Stay close, please!"
The visitors followed the guide out of the lobby, down a hallway and into a series of darkened rooms full of luminous, flickering holograms.
"Some of you may recognize these images," the guide told her charges. "Can anyone tell me what this one is?" She pointed to the first cluster of holos.
A girl in her teens spoke proudly. "We seen that in my history class last year. That's an episode of American Swinger."
"Exactly right!" the guide said. "As most of you know, competitive swinging began at the turn of the century as a subculture
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"The immense popularity of the show led TeleHongKong to develop Swinging With the Stars."
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movement. The first sessions we know of took place at swinging conventions, which at that time were quite rare! This early period is well-documented in the classic DVD The Lifestyle II: Keeping Score. But as the movement gained popularity, secret sessions, sometimes referred to as "fight clubs," began taking place all over the country, in underground clubs and private homes.
"Then, in 2009, Robert Evans created American Swinger, the world's first competitive swinging television show, which was broadcast on HBO. A crude but visionary predecessor to competitive swinging as we know it today, the show featured four couple-teams in a rotation competition judged by . . . who remembers? Sir?" She pointed to one of the SwingerWorld residents.
"Dr. Ruth, Hugh Hefner and Howard Stern," the man wheezed.
"Absolutely right! And in spite of the drug controversy that forced American Swinger off the air just five months later, the immense popularity of the show led TeleHongKong, then known as the Fox Network, to develop the legendary Swinging With the Stars, which aired on Sunday nights at nine for eighteen years! And spawned dozens of swinging-related shows, and got the highest ratings in the history of television." She pointed to a triptych of holos in which naked bodies writhed in rapidly edited sequences.
"Look," a man in his fifties whispered to his wife. "That sequence on the second holo is from the Jude Law-Lindsay Lohan episode. Remember watching that?" He gave her a tender smile, and she squeezed his hand.
"Swinging With the Stars," the tour guide continued, "was almost single-handedly responsible for the widespread interest in and mainstream acceptance of competitive swinging — oh, yes," she nodded at a skeptical-looking young mother with triplets drifting behind her in an Aero-Bassinet. "It's true. The sport initially met with some public resistance, though I know it's hard to conceive of that today! It was also where many of the rules of swinging as we know it today were developed. The eight-couple team, the intra-team exhibition round, and many of the official positions and configurations, all had their origins on Swinging With the Stars. For example, the Five-Fingered Johnny, the Elephant Walk, the Double Dalai Lama, the Green-Eyed Floozy, the Mobius Daisy Chain, Quadruple Flying Camel — which as you know has been successfully executed just six times — and everyone's favorite, the Octuple Swizzle, among many other maneuvers, were first performed on the show! Okay everyone, follow me."
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