Scanner by Sarah Hepola Today on Hooksexup's culture blog: Celebrity MadLibs offer an adjective tale of noun and verb. Also, Tokyo's penile spa treatments.
Sleepy People by Jonathan Lethem "He resembled some sculpture she'd seen, a saint or slave carved in marble. But with stubble. Saint Stubble of Little Alaska." /fiction/
Rachel is wearing a pale red thong, a panda-head hairclip and a red jersey leisure dress. She rubs organic coconut oil on her thighs and arms. She thinks, "Sexy bitches," and feels confused because "bitches" was plural but she is alone in the house. She goes downstairs and lies on the couch and stares at the ceiling. She thinks about a depressed hamster running into the ocean screaming in agony. She thinks about her boyfriend flying through the air attacking her with his penis. The penis hits her shoulder and knocks her down. She feels wet. Her cellphone rings. It's her boyfriend. "I'm in the taxi," Matt says. "I'll be there soon."
"Thank you for calling," Rachel says.
promotion
"You're welcome," Matt says.
In the taxi, Matt stares outside. A snowshoe hare falls out of a very tall tree, hits a branch, hits another branch, lands on the snow, and then runs away quickly. Matt averts his eyes. He thinks about slipping wildly on a patch of organic extra-virgin olive oil on the sidewalk. He grins a little. At Rachel's house he gives the taxi driver a fifty-percent tip and feels proud. Rachel opens the door. Matt looks at Rachel's face and body and feels excited. Rachel has a soft body with many curves and also her rib cage and shoulder blades are visible. She has large eyes, a small nose and a small mouth. She has dyed black hair. Matt wants to have sex with her face and body, but with a penis the size of Rachel's face and body, shaped so that it fits on her like a mold, so that when they have sex it looks like Rachel is just standing there with a thin layer of sensitive crotch meats enveloping her like a scuba suit. Matt feels confused.
"Are you okay?" Rachel says.
"Yes," Matt says. "Are you okay?"
"Yes," Rachel says, and hugs Matt. She takes Matt's bag. She gives Matt water. "Thank you," Matt says, and drinks the water. Rachel feels an uncontrollable urge to lie on top of Matt without doing anything else, just lying on top, but the feeling passes. She has an image of sitting on the side of a bathtub petting Matt while Matt is taking a bath.
"Fucking sexy," Matt thinks, and he feels embarrassed.
"Was the taxi bad?" Rachel says.
"I don't know," Matt says. "The guy was good. I think it was okay." Matt thinks about the taxi driver. It was a strange man who was normal — a normal man. Matt feels frustrated. "It was just a taxi," he says. "But it was good."
Matt kisses Rachel's mouth and the area between Rachel's mouth and Rachel's nose. "Rachel's nose is an elegant piece of work," Matt thinks seriously. They go upstairs into Rachel's room, which is dark. There are two beds. One is a normal bed; the other is a nest of blankets and pillows on the floor. Rachel and Matt choose the nest. They lie on the nest and kiss and Matt removes Rachel's hairclip and puts it on the floor.
Matt turns Rachel so she is facing away and her ass is against his crotch. He touches her stomach and her rib cage.Rachel rubs her ass against Matt's crotch. "That's it," Matt thinks. "That's it," Matt says. "That's how I like it." Rachel laughs a little. She lies on Matt facing the ceiling and continues rubbing her ass on Matt's crotch. Matt kisses Rachel's neck. Matt pulls Rachel's dress up and puts his hands under Rachel's thong. Matt looks over Rachel's shoulder at her chest and stomach. It looks good. "Fucking sexy," Matt thinks, and feels embarrassed. "Sexy," Matt says. He puts his middle finger in Rachel's vagina, which is wet. "My longest finger," Matt thinks. "Perfect." He puts his middle finger all the way into Rachel's vagina and splays his two forefingers out onto Rachel's skin like a bowling ball. He rubs the inside top wall of Rachel's vagina with the tip of his middle finger.
Rachel moans a little. "Feel the pleasure," Matt thinks. "That's it. That's what I like to hear." He wants to keep moving his finger at a steady pace but the position is difficult and his finger is tired. Matt feels defeated. "Don't use all-or-nothing patterns of thought," he thinks. "That is dramatic." Matt feels consoled. He sits at Rachel's feet and takes off her thong. He takes off Rachel's dress. He continues with his middle finger at a slower speed. He licks two fingers on his other hand and uses those fingers to quickly rub Rachel's clit back and forth.
