Baskin-Robbins market research proves it: trying to pick someone up at a bar? Ask them if they like chocolate.
Baskin-Robbins has recently released the remains of what I can only assume was market research using some pretty legit measures of personality. According to their website, "Adults, aged 18-65, residing in the United States, completed the following standardized comprehensive psychiatric and personality tests: the Million Clinical Multiaxial Inventory-III (MCMI-III), Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory-2 (MMPI-2), Beck Depression Inventory, Zung Anxiety and Zung Depression test batteries. DSM-IV-TR™ diagnoses and traits were determined." In other words, this ice cream infographic is a better assessment of your personality than the online quiz you took last time you were drunk.
The ice cream company is releasing the information in cute infographic form, but Hooksexup will do you one better. Just like enjoying the taste of beer statistically predicts you'll have sex on the first date, we can decode Baskin-Robbins's euphemisms to show you which ice cream flavors best predict mating behavior.
1) The one-night-stand
Trying to find a one-night-stand? Ask your would-be conquest if they like chocolate. Participants who enjoyed chocolate were described by the battery of tests as "seductive," "flirtatious," and "dramatic." Don't be afraid to put on a show, either. A well-executed game of darts, perhaps?
2) The power-couple
If you dream of becoming one half of a power couple, find somebody who likes chocolate chip cookie dough. The ice cream company describes 'chip aficionados as "ambitious," "competitive" and "visionary." Try flirting via mind-bending verbal sparring. Food/band name pun competitions are a personal favorite that will stimulate the stomach and the groin: Sugar Ros, Nine Inch Naan, Éclairosmith, rah!
3) The manic pixie dream boy/girl
We're not advocating that you find yourself a MPDPerson but if you must, try and find somebody who likes rocky road. These fickle creatures are described as "engaging," "good-listener," and "aggressive." That sounds like someone who'll force you play the penis game in a public park to me.
4) The homebody
If there's one thing I've learned from small talk, it's that weather is always bad and that you should never leave your house. Find someone who hates snow (or sun) as much as you do by selecting a partner who's into strawberry. These guys are listed as "introvert," "tolerant," and "devoted." INTP, baby.
5) Vanilla
"Easily suggestible," "impulsive," "idealist." Vanilla.
Follow Johannah on Twitter @jjjjjjjjohannah