4. My Girl

IMDB synopsis: Vada Sultenfuss (Anna Chlumsky), an eleven-year old girl, experiences life, love, and loss during the summer of 1972.

What it should say: Vada Sultenfuss (Anna Chlumsky), an eleven-year old girl, is a murderer.

Why it's disturbing: My Girl tells the story of Vada, an adorable, apple-cheeked, eleven-year old who lives with her widowed, funeral-home-owning father (Dan Aykroyd). Because her mother died while giving birth to her, Vada spends most of the film blaming herself for her mother's death and trying to convince her father and his girlfriend (Jamie Lee Curtis) that she herself is dying, which should be enough to give the viewer the sense that this poor girl has maybe inhaled a bit too much formaldehyde.

With no one to look after her, Vada spends her summer acting out like a typical adolescent, throwing tantrums, stealing money from her father and experimenting with her best friend Thomas J. (Macaulay Culkin). Her summer of rebellion, however, reaches its tragic denouement when she inadvertently kills Thomas J. by sending him into the woods to look for her lost mood ring, where he has a fatal allergic reaction to a bee sting. Of course, Vada's fear of having murdered her mother comes to fruition, and she is left to shoulder the crushing guilt over her friend's death for the rest of her life.

Ostensible message: Growing up is tough, but the memories of your lost loved ones and the support of your friends and family will help you get through it.

Actual message: Growing up is tough, and you are exactly as guilty as you think you are.

5. Ferris Bueller's Day Off

IMDB synopsis: A high-school wise guy (Matthew Broderick) is determined to have a day off from school, despite the tyrannical principal's attempts to capture him.

What it should say: A charming sociopath (Matthew Broderick) is determined to have a day off from school, despite a long-suffering public servant's attempts to give him an education.

Why it's disturbing: Everyone loves Ferris Bueller the movie, but in retrospect, Ferris Bueller the character is a self-entitled Reaganite brat. Ferris relies on his wit, charm, and arsenal of '80s technology to manipulate his parents into thinking that he's home sick, while he gleefully wreaks havoc on the Chicagoland area, drawing two unwitting accomplices into his web of deceit. Although the three commit a panoply of unlawful acts — destroying Cameron's dad's Ferrari, for one — Ferris's delinquency is secondary to his complete lack of conscience, evidenced by the casual ease with which he disrupts the lives of others. He has no reservations about manipulating his loyal friends, and it's genuinely uncomfortable to watch him play the passive Cameron like one of his crazy-ass Casio synthesizers. The two people savvy enough to see through his shit — principal Ed Rooney (Jeffrey Jones) and sister Jeannie (Jennifer Grey) — end up getting mauled by a giant Rottweiler and Charlie Sheen, respectively.

By the end of the film, Ferris successfully dupes his parents into thinking that their "little angel" has been sleeping in bed all day, and although we're supposed to applaud him for his cunning, we know he'll spend the rest of his life avoiding the consequences of his actions, probably growing up to be an investment banker ducking indictment for insider trading.

Ostensible message: Life is short, so have fun.

Actual message: Life is short, so get away with as much as possible, regardless of who you have to exploit.