Our favorite person, Dan Savage, made life a little messier for Rick Santorum back in 2003 when he created a new definition for "Santorum." We're sure you know, but as a refresher:
Santorum. 1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex. 2. Senator Rick Santorum.
It's pretty gross, no matter how you get down, but also, probably deserved. Santorum is hate-mongering fool who "has a problem with homosexual acts." The aftereffects of what started as one sex-advice columnist's joke have been very serious for Santorum's political career; Savage's definition is still the first thing that comes up if you Google the Senator. That's a probably pretty annoying when you'd like to be defined by other things, like your presidential candidacy, or anything really, other than the aforementioned.
But Santorum hasn't eased up on being a jerk, so Savage has issued a challenge for him on Funny or Die: quit being anti-gay during your campaign, or he'll release a new definition for "Rick." And it sounds pretty gross, from what I can make out through the bleeps. If I was Rick, I'd take him seriously.