Hillary Clinton is out-awesome'ing herself left and right these days. (Reaganing, perhaps, although maybe that's not the right reference point.) First, she demonstrated that she could party just as hard as your former college roommate with daddy issues when she was photographed chugging beer and getting her freak on at a Colombian bar at 12:45 a.m. Then, she proved she had a solid sense of humor by contributing to the Texts From Hillary meme. Now, Hill Clints is continuing her mission to make you think she is a BAMF by crafting a witty, self-referential note to How I Met Your Mother star Jason Segel, who everyone knows is tied with Zack Morris and Grover from Sesame Street as the most aggressively likeable individual in America (which I guess would make Hillary Clinton the twenty-first century Kelly Kapowski and/or the perky orange girl Muppet, but that is neither here nor there).
Sadly, the Secretary of State's note was not a thinly veiled, anonymous love letter made of old newspaper clippings asking Segel to go to next year's White House Correspondents Dinner with her; instead, it was a response to Segel's long-running joke with reporters that Clinton is the as-yet anonymous mother in How I Met Your Mother. Segel has also been campaigning to get Clinton to appear in the (totally made-up) sequel to Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Sarah Marshall 2: This Time It's Personal, joking, "I just feel like she'd be really good at comedy" to Us Weekly in March.
Sadly, the world will probably never get to see an awkwardly naked, nakedly awkward Clinton/Segel sex scene: as Segel explained on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon last week, Clinton politely turned down Segel's offer by sending him what is probably the most charming rejection letter of all time:
I was delighted to read about your interest in sharing the big screen with me. As you can imagine, I am a little occupied at the moment, but perhaps someday I can help you forget Sarah Marshall… again. My only condition is that there be Muppets involved, and that is non-negotiable. In the meantime, you have my best wishes for continued success with your career.
Of course your only condition is that there be Muppets involved, Hill Clintz. Of course it is. Because you + Muppets + Jason Segel would be the coolest thing ever, and you are clearly hell-bent on being so awesome that you're actually trying to make all of our heads explode. God, I'm sounding like a fangirl over here. Now I know why Bieber Fever is a thing.
