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Sure, a lot of Disney films are kind of twisted just on the surface: Bambi's mom gets murdered, Cinderella's step-mom abuses her, Snow White enters a polyamorous relationship with seven men. (No disrespect to polyamorous relationships. I just feel like seven is way too much work for one person.) But what about the deeper messages that the more benign (read: not quite as murder-happy) Disney films teach to our children? The Second City Network — the same people who brought us the Sassy Gay Friend — have decided to be more up-front with these lessons, delivered from the very princesses who lived them.

The newest one, "Advice From A Cartoon Princess: Belle," points out something we at Hooksexup feel is often overlooked about Beauty and the Beast. Namely, no one would show it to their kids if the beast was not a sort-of humanoid, generic fuzzy thing, but instead a Great Dane:

Don't leave Belle alone with Spot, you guys. Things might get weird. They also have "Advice From A Cartoon Princess: Ariel," which is all about how fulfilling it can be to drastically alter your body and suppress your natural talents in order to bag the man of your dreams:

Thanks, Disney!

Via Buzzfeed.

Commentarium (3 Comments)

Aug 31 10 - 3:35pm
tamaulipas

I don't think it was Disney who made these tale weird. They were weird from the way back.

Aug 31 10 - 5:41pm
Me

"The longer that you're entrapped by the same person, the more it will feel like home. Stockholm!" Hilarious.

Sep 01 10 - 3:51pm
thinkywritey

While that is true, tamaulipas, Disney IS responsible for candifying them, coating them with absurdly-catchy songs, and marking the living crap out of products from these old tales. I often have difficulty explaining to people how absolutely abhorrent I find the retellings of these tales. The humor here does it pretty well. Don't let you children "aspire" to be Disney Princesses.