Talking to Strangers: Montreal, QC

Hooksexup asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

Robyn, 23

What do you do in life?
I'm a musician, a writer, anarchist, organizer...

Do any of those jobs ever get you laid?
I definitely have some sex.

Do you date men or women or both?
Either is good. Generally both, but sometimes I drift more towards one than the other. I guess I'm attracted to babes, all around. Like, you know, generally smart, interesting. Good taste in music is a plus. In fact, that would probably be a must. Good politics are essential.

That's the same for men or women, regardless?
Oh yeah, yeah. Babes have to have the other good qualities attached to them, or they are not babes to me.

Do you have any crazy exes?
I have one nemesis ex. Otherwise, I'm actually super-tight buds with all my exes. We still party and make tapes. I do a radio show with my favorite ex.

Have you ever offended anyone in the bedroom?
I swear a lot, and I had one person tell me that I was very coarse. I was like, "Well, sometimes you just need to be on a roll with the language. Know what I mean?" 

What's the craziest thing someone has done to get with you?
One time, when I met somebody, they pretended that they were working in the part of the music store that they were not working in, and I pretended I was shopping for the thing I was not shopping for. Collectively, we decided to order something that I did not want. And then they asked me for my phone number,  "for the order." And I gave it to them, and we ended up dating for four years. That was very romantic.

Is there anything that you would like to change about dating?
I guess I wish there were more people who were totally fucking awesome. I wish that people wouldn't listen to as much Top 40 music when they went out dancing. I wish that people listened to more music with guitars. That would be sexier, to me.

You think that there's a limited number of totally fucking awesome people in Montreal? I find that very surprising.
You know, I wouldn't say that there's a limited number, but I guess sometimes you get into these incest pools where you're hanging out with all your friends all the time, and it all gets a little too tight. So maybe it's my bad. There's certainly babes aplenty.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
I thought I fell in love at first sight with somebody, but then I realized I just thought they were hot, and we didn't have that much in common. That wasn't actual love at first sight. So you need to continue to find out if it was real or not, but I believe in it. I think it's rare, but it exists.

Let's leave aside love for a second. Do you have any good hookup stories?
There have been some good threesome-on-the-dancefloor pickups... oh yeah! This one time, I convinced everyone to come over to my house to play strip dice, strictly so that we could turn it into a fun sex pile — and we totally did, and it was a really good idea. So it's good if you can bring games into the equation.

Did you say strip dice? You need to tell me how to play strip dice.
The rules are completely arbitrary. We were playing dice, but most of the rules ended up involving taking off your clothes. So — dice were rolled, and clothes were taken off. Sexiness ensued.

So the dice were just an excuse for everyone to get naked. Have you had any other game-related sex experiences?
Yeah. Strip poker, strip truth-or-dare ... we played strip "guess that song" once, and that was fun. 

How did your upbringing influence your attitude toward sex?
One time, my father left a note on the table that said, "30 million Americans have genital herpes. Signed, Anonymous," so that I'd learn about the dangers of sex without anyone having to teach me. So I guess that taught me about genital herpes and body-to-body contact. It taught me to be cautious. It made me laugh, which made me realize I was a relatively well-adjusted adult.

How old were you when he left you this note?
Like, sixteen, and already fully aware of the dangers of genital herpes.

 

Jairus, 31

Are you from Montreal?
I'm from Ottawa. I'm just in town to DJ tonight.

What do you do for a living?
I'm a web-communications coordinator for the government, so I handle figuring out how our department talks to people online.

If you work for the government, are you sure you should be talking to me?
[laughs] I think as long as I don't mention where in the government I work, I should be okay.

Fair enough. Does working for the government ever get you laid?
You know, in Ottawa, you'd think it might, but no, I'm afraid not.

How long have you been dating your girlfriend?
Two years, in a week or two. We met online. She sent me a message saying that she thought my profile was charming and we should hang out. I looked at her profile and like, her profile was amazing, and her pictures were really gorgeous, and I thought, "This is obviously a Russian spam bot," but I still answered. I replied like, "Okay, well, whatever, if you want to meet up for coffee ..." And yeah, we met a couple of days later and hit it off pretty quickly. We both worked on the ninth floor, right across from each other. So it moved pretty fast from coffee to bedroom. It was pretty great.  

Any words of advice for the online daters out there?
Don't be a creep, is the biggest thing. I've met a fair number of people who were pretty cool, and I think mostly they get a lot of messages saying "Hey, do you like sucking cock?" It's not a good icebreaker.

I also think that the sending of cock pictures online is best saved until after you meet.
I think that's fair, yeah. That's a good ground rule.

Have you met any crazy people online?
Oh yeah. I have a loooong history with crazy people online. We go way back. I used to keep an online journal that was kind of popular. So I used to get people mailing me things. And then one day, I opened my mail and found a Godiva chocolate box. I opened it up, and inside is this stuffed satin heart that someone made — like, sewed together — wrapped in hair, with a big bloodstain on it.

Holy shit.
... and a letter that came with it about how I was part of them, and they were part of me. It was the most horrifying thing. After that, I stopped putting my address on the Internet. They were someone I had talked to online a couple of times, who lived in the States somewhere. I didn't know what to do. I stuck the box in my closet in case I ever needed it for the police. I thought it might be evidence one day.

Do you have any crazy real-life exes?
I, uh... I choose not to answer that question on the grounds that they may one day read this interview and hunt me down. So yes. Yes, is the answer.

How do you maintain a working long-term relationship?
Lots of time away from other people, lots of time with other people, lots of communication, lots of fucking.

 

Nebula, 24

What do you do for a living?
I am a fetish performer; I run a very small circus company; I'm a gypsy mind traveler; a circus freak; and I run a really kick-ass novelty shop, Le Quizz.  

Do any of your jobs get you laid?
Get me laid? Yes, they have. I was with Cirque de Boudoir, and we were doing a Montreal connection with New York. At the afterparty, I had met what became my boyfriend, or my summer fling, this year.  

Tell me more about him.
He's a fang-maker. He makes custom-fitted dental fangs. He's really awesome. He looks like Danzig; he has a really hot body. We did performances for Montreal Fetish Weekend together. He was totally deserving of my summer.  

Are you in the market for sex or love?
I'm not in the market of anything. I observe what comes around me. I don't really like putting a category on it, because I don't know what it can evolve to, or what it is when I meet it. I'm definitely a very open person, and I love meeting new people. I'm constantly a lover and I'm always open for some type of stimulation. I've always really considered myself a prude, but I have met some amazing lovers in the fetish scene.

Would you say that you're more cynical or optimistic about romantic relationships?
Not all my relationships are romantic. Some had absolutely zero romance. They were just carnal, and that was great for what it was at the time. I guess that would categorize me as optimistic, because if it comes around, that's great, but if it's only a romance, like candlelight and bubble baths and red roses, I get bored. But I like romance.

Do you have any crazy exes who have come close?
I've had some catastrophic ends to relationships, but it's all part of the spiral. I think I've had some of the worst breakups, and that has not yet tainted me, so I don't really think I can be tainted. I will not tell you the worst, but I'll tell you a bad breakup. A bad breakup would be having tickets to go see the world's best bondage artist, going to surprise my boyfriend at the time, walking into his apartment because he mistakenly left the front door open, and finding him smoking crack. I was so saddened by that view. He then decided to smoke it in front of me, which even... it just broke my heart completely. I walked out and never looked back.  

Are you single right now?
Presently, yes. I am not involved in any physical contact with anyone.  

When you're in a relationship, are you monogamous?
Not particularly. I respect people's choices, and if I happen to be enjoying myself with somebody and they wish to have a monogamous relationship with me, then I respect that and I go along with it. But I'm not primarily monogamous. I'm bisexual and I've had polyamorous relationships. I like to go with people's behavior traits, more so than putting myself in a category. If I choose to be with a particular person, character, being — male, female, or a third gender — I choose to be with whatever they're into. It takes me to different worlds, and I get to experiment, and I get to learn about myself.

Have you ever been offended in the bedroom?
I have to think about that one... offended, no. I'm a compassionate person and I like people's quirks. I'm really, really open to exploring people, so it takes a lot to offend me. It really takes a lot.