Zane, 33

What do you do for a living?
I am a bartender in a gay bar. I'm just doing the bartender thing between two jobs, because I wanted to relax and do something fun.

Does bartending ever get you laid?
Absolutely! Especially in a gay bar — I'd say it's a lot of customers' fantasies to have sex with a bartender.

Can you make a sweeping generalization about your clientele?
Sexual, would be the word. Horny. That's generally how it works, in a gay bar.

What is your favourite drink for a customer to order?
Well, at this bar, customers aren't very creative. It's usually a beer or a gin and tonic. I never get orders for a Singapore Sling or a Pink Lady or anything like that. I wish. If it's something I've never done before, I like the challenge, and I like asking the customer, "I'll make it for you, but how is it done?" Generally, something new that I've never heard of, that makes the job exciting.

How do you impress a gentleman whom you might have your eye on?
The bonus of being a bartender is that you can always offer them a drink. It's a lot easier. A shooter is a great way to go about doing that, and it generally works.

So you must have some good hookup stories. Care to tell me one?
There's one that happened recently. I'm not going to say that I'm easy or anything, but it was just such a classic pickup line that it worked. A customer came to my bar and said, "By the way, do you have any Italian in you?"  I'm like, "No," and he's like, "Would you like some?" and I was like, "What?"

I can't believe that actually worked. I guess if you're already into the person, it doesn't matter what they say.
Exactly.

Do you have any crazy exes?
Well, I'm generally the crazy one. I'm not very easy to get along with, really. I'm very focused on my work, whether it's bartending or my career, and it causes tension. And I'm very demanding, sexually. Most guys just can't keep up. Basically I want sex all the time. It's funny, because people say, "That's great!" but it's a lot of work, you know, and sometimes they're tired or don't have the time. But I need that to relieve stress. That's what works for me, and sometimes it doesn't work for others.

What has your longest relationship been?
My longest relationship was six years. That was my very first one. It was my early twenties, and I didn't really know much then. I didn't know what gay sex was about, and what you could do, and what you can't do, and what's fun and what's not. We moved in together, and we had the pets, you know, and it was very much like a married couple. After we broke up, I started meeting people, and I was like, "Wow, there's so much to do, so many exciting things out there." I realize now that it probably would have lasted longer had we worked on it, but I think it's routine that kills a relationship.

Are you looking for sex or love right now?
Well, I'd love to have sex with the same person, because with casual sex, you don't have enough time to find out what really excites the other person, what makes them tick. I mean, I like a lot of sex, but that doesn't mean I like to have it with different people every day. Ideally, it's a relationship that I'd want.

How did your upbringing influence your views on sexuality?
I was out in high school, never had any threats or bullying or anything like that. My parents were cool with it — I came out at sixteen, no problems. I had none of that "I had to run away from home" or "My parents disowned me" or anything like that. I've never had the negative aspect of being gay. It's not who I am; it's just what I am.

How did your parents talk to you about sex?
We never had "The Sex Talk." But then again, they were the ones who told me I was gay.

Have you ever had sex in the bathroom of your bar?
No. I mean, I still want to keep my job. I have my limits. But that's not to say that I haven't in the past — just not while I was working here.

Is there anything you wish you could change about men, or the way they approach dating?
My one complaint with gay men is their lack of seriousness. Sex is just everywhere, and we're so desensitized to it. If you go on chat sites or meeting areas, it's a lot of fooling around, like, "Oh, I'll give you a call or whatever," and it's never serious. That's my number-one thing I would like to change. I would just like gay men to take relationships and sex more seriously.

 

Veronique, 24

Are you a Montreal native?
No, I grew up in Ontario. The town I grew up in was a very racist place, and there were very few gay bars, so Montreal is an amazing haven for me to be in. I adore it here.  

Do you date men or women or both?
Um, both. I'm ninety percent queer and ten percent huge penis envy.  

Tell me about one of your most memorable dates.
Probably going to a queer party and hooking up with my... with this girl that I didn't know, and we became really good friends. I didn't know anybody there, and she didn't know anybody there, and we ended up hooking up, having sex in front of fifty people. All of these really shy queer girls were just sitting around playing spin-the-bottle, and we were doing our thing, and it was amazing. It was labeled as a sex party, but we were the only ones doing it. Everyone else was too shy and didn't want to make any moves.  

Do you have a deep, dark, unfulfilled fantasy?
No, I'm still very shy about my fantasies, but I've had the good luck to play out my fantasies, even though they are quite obscure. I just had really good friends who understood that I was into it, even though they weren't, and were willing to do that for me and make me happy.  

Are you looking for sex or looking for love?
I think, right now, I'm more looking for sex.

What attracts you to someone when you see them across the room?
Confidence. I'm really attracted to people who are over-the-top, super self-confident, people who totally control the entire room, even though I'm the complete opposite. I want them to completely come over and control me.  

Does that transfer over into the bedroom?
It does, yeah. I just want someone to come and take complete control of my life, even though it has turned out to be quite a tricky thing to juggle.  

What do you do for work?
I'm a projectionist. I work at movie theatres all over Montreal, and I adore my job, even though it's a dying profession. I'm really sad that it's not going to be around in five years, because digital projectors are taking over all our work. It's a fun job. I get to spy on people in theatres, and watch them making out and having sex when they don't think that anyone else can see them. 

Do you work in porn theatres?
No, I was kind of interested in that, but the majority of porn theatres are all DVDs that are projected. I work with actual 35mm film.  

How often do you see people having sex in the audience?
About twenty-five percent of the time. It's mostly people sneaking into children's movies, because they think that no one will... I mean, if there's nobody going to see the kids' movie, then they'll just go in and start having sex. A lot of the time the ushers will come in and catch them because I see them from up top. It's kind of fun to call the ushers to go spy on them.  

Have you ever had sex in a movie theatre?
I have not. That would be pretty awesome, but I know too many of the projectionists in Montreal.

"WaxFromHell," 47

Are you from Montreal?
Born and raised in Montreal. Whooo!

What do you do in life?
I'm a promoter, I'm a producer, I'm taking care of some nights in clubs, I play in three bands, I'm a decorator, and I'm a hearse driver, too.

You're a hearse driver? How long have you been doing that?
Since 1997. The thing is, I drive hearses, but I have nothing to do with the morticians or funeral homes. It's for my own pleasure.

So you don't meet any people through that job?
No, I come from a family of morticians, but I never worked for them.

How about your other jobs? Do they ever get you laid?
Oh, all the time, all the time. That's why I'm in it.

Do you have any crazy stories?
The first time Metallica came to Montreal, I was their driver with my hearse. The problem is that they flew from New York to San Francisco to Montreal. It was like, twenty degrees when they left San Francisco, and it was negative thirty-five when they came here, so they came with jeans, jacket and t-shirt on. So I had to bring some blankets and stuff, because they were freezing their asses off. I drove them like that in Montreal for four days in my hearse, and we drank four days in a row, like, Smirnoff vodka with nothing else because we all forgot to bring fucking orange juice and shit like that, so it was really funny. And if you check on my Facebook, I've got pictures of that week. It was really cool.

You realize this is a column about sex and dating, right?
Oh! Dating and sex, I'm sorry! I thought you said funny story. I thought it was funny — Metallica freezing their asses off. 

Did you have sex with any of their groupies? Because that would make it a sex story.
No, I didn't. Okay, wait a second. Let me think about that.

Is there a story that you tell at parties to impress people?
I don't try to impress people; I just want to have fun. And I think girls are attracted by men that are funny, or fun, that enjoy being alive, I guess. Because most of the guys you see, they're fuckin' sad or depressed, they're just fuckin' scared as shit of girls. I don't want to impress anyone; I just want to have fun and pick up girls and have a good time.

What do you look for in a girl?
About the same thing as I'm trying to project, like, some girl that wants to have fun and a good time. I hate fighting. I hate stuff getting complicated. I like simple women who just want to have some kicks and have a good time.

What's the craziest thing you've done to get someone's attention?
Arriving at clubs and having seven girls come out of my hearse in bikinis. That was fun. I mean, it didn't exactly impress the people I wanted to impress, but the passersby and stuff... it was funny. It looked like a ZZ Top video clip or something.

Has anyone done anything crazy to try and impress you?
Yeah. Getting naked. Especially here, because we've got a permit for nudity. And I'm the doorman, so whenever they pass by, some of them are flashing me. I think it's sexy.

Do they always ask first if you have a permit for nudity before they flash you?
After five years, everybody knows about it, so no, they don't have to. They know it.

What is the weirdest place you've had sex?
Cemetery. Or in my hearse, but it's so common now. For most of the people, they would think it's bizarre, but for me it's just a safety spot. I can go anywhere. It's like my camper. People have no idea about the fun you can have in a hearse.

Are you single right now?
Um ... not really, no. I was, a couple of hours ago — not anymore. For how long, I don't know.

So you're taken for tonight?
Yes, I am. I'm sorry. But you can call me next week — you never know.

What is the secret to a happy relationship?
Respect each other. That's very important. Without respect, you can't achieve anything. 

Interviews and photography by Jana van Geest.