Talking to Strangers: Atlanta, GA

"I guess I went crazy for those first couple of moments of my adult life..."

Brooke, 23

What do you do for a living?
I just graduated from Savannah College of Art & Design. Right now I'm nannying and looking for freelance design jobs.

Did you date people through SCAD?
No, more through nightlife, after school. During classes, I was focused on graduating.

So are you looking for someone tonight?
No, not tonight. It's ladies' night. We have projects brewing and I don't want to start new projects.

Are you attached? Is that what that means?
No, there's just always options, and tonight I'm not looking.

So what was the last relationship you were in?
What, like real boyfriend? Terrible. It was, what, two years ago now? I ended up finding out that I was being played for a really long time. And then it all just pretty much exploded in my face.

Damn. How long did you guys date?
A year and a half.

And how long was he cheating?
At least the last month.

Why didn't he tell you about it?
I mean, he had his own reasoning, but I think he realized he wanted me to be as into him as he was into me. He saw that I wasn't, like, growing more and more into him, and that gave him reason to do what he did. Does that make sense?

Yeah. He was insecure and he needed another girl to like make him feel better.
Exactly. And because I wasn't taking it as seriously as he was, he thought that gave him reason to find somebody else and be like, fuck you; she wins this time.

How does that affect your relationships now, or how you look for people?
I hate guys? No. I guess now I know what to look out for. Because it was just so many lies. I just need to meet someone who's nice, who's not a complete loser and who has goals and determination and a good life and who doesn't just play people.

Who's mature, maybe?
Exactly. 'Cause that's another thing — when we were dating, I didn't even care about having a boyfriend, and that's why I never got that into him. It just was convenient and nice to have someone around. I feel like I'm at a place now where I can meet somebody and have it be mutually understood that we like each other or we don't. And it's not just for convenience's sake.

Shifting gears a little bit, what's the craziest hookup you've had?
I don't know. I'm wasted all the time. I did it on a picnic table once. It was way back when I was younger, though, like, beginning of college. That was really cool, when I moved out of my parents' house and I guess went crazy for those first couple of moments of my adult life.

 

Brendan, 27

What do you do?
I work in sales. Retail.

What store?
Gucci.

Have you ever gone on a date with anybody that you worked with or met at the store?
Not a date necessarily, no. But I've hooked up with people at the store. Coworkers.

Can you describe a time that you hooked up with a coworker? How does that happen?
Basically it goes from a working relationship that you're comfortable with — you know the person already; you know what kind of person they are — and if you're attracted already, stuff happens sometimes.

Was it awkward at work after that?
Not really, no. I think we both sort of understood what it was, and we were kind of okay with it. There was some slight awkwardness but it was important that we sat down and talked about it afterwards. So everything was fine after that.

When was the last time you were in a relationship?
Three months ago. It was great. Probably the best person I've been with as far as an overall individual. There were problems, definitely, and those problems ultimately caused the downfall of the relationship. But overall she was probably the best person I've been with. She was completely loyal. She'd do anything for people she cared about and always made sure people were cared for no matter what. And that was the huge thing. She just took care of people she was close with. And she was very intelligent and funny and great to be around.

How long did the relationship last?
About a year and a half.

So why did it end?
Basically just a conflict of what we wanted to do with our free time. I really wanted to hang around the bars and see my friends a lot, and I wanted her to come along for that. But she wanted to stay at home a lot, and I was fine with that for a while, but overall, not as much. So it was kind of just like, you want to do this with your life and I want to do this. It looks like it's just not going to happen.

Did you live together?
Yes. It was great. There were no issues with private time, which I thought would be the big issue. It taught me a little about responsibility. It was a great lesson in coexisting with people and figuring out what you need to make happen in order for everything to be okay.

Like leaving the toilet seat down?
Oh, no, I was always good at that. There was just cleaning and making sure everything was in its proper place. But the toilet seat was always down. I might pee on it, but I would wipe it off afterwards.

That's a really good attribute. Are you looking for someone now?
I think I need some time to figure out what I'm doing. Things are okay and clearly I'm still attracted to people and want to be around people, but I don't think I'm going to say I'm actively looking for someone. It's an honest place to be. You figure out that you're not ready to be with anyone to that degree yet, so you're just like, "Oh, I'll hang out with people I care about and want to be around and everything will be okay eventually."

 

J.P., 24

What do you do for a living?
I'm a flight attendant.

Does that ever get you laid?
Well, I haven't been doing it for very long. So time will tell. But not so far. But I've seen some interest, from some glances here and there. I've definitely had people be more friendly than normal or make eyes at me.

Would you ever take home a passenger?
Officially, if my airline's listening? No. But it would depend on the situation and the person. Probably not a passenger, but if I saw someone in an airport, possibly.

What kind of person are you attracted to?
I have really broad tastes. Different kinds of people can turn me on. I'm gay. I sometimes will like the whole boyish, younger, twinkie type, or sometimes I like the more masculine, bearish, beefy kind of guy. It just depends on my mood, really.

What turns you on in bed?
Someone who's very active. If someone's just lying there — whether they're a top or a bottom — and they want me to do all the work, that's a big turn-off. I'll just end the session pretty quickly. I like them to be into it and to want me. That turns me on big-time.

What are you looking for now?
Honestly, someone who is very sexual. In a relationship I would want to have sex, if not every day, then every other day. Someone who doesn't get sick of the routine. Unfortunately, in the gay community, that tends to happen. Gay guys tend to want new experiences. Not to be cliché, but we are men and guys tend to be pretty sexual and kind of skanky.

And relationship-wise, someone I don't get bored with. That tends to happen to me pretty easily. I guess some people might think I'm a snob, but I just have high expectations when it comes to someone mentally. Someone very smart. I need that. Someone who can hold a conversation. Sometimes I'll be talking to someone, and we'll be talking about something that I'm totally interested in, but for some reason I just get bored of them talking. I don't know what that is. Really good sense of humor. A dry sense of humor. Someone who can hear a racist joke and not say, "That's offensive! I'm outta here!"

Are you seeing anyone right now?
Currently, I am. It's still pretty new and we just decided to be exclusive. When you enter a relationship, you have to be realistic and think this might not work out. But there's no point in entering a relationship and becoming exclusive if you know in your head that it has an expiration date. At this point in my life, being a twenty-four-year-old man with a career, it just seems like a waste of time.

What initially attracted you about the person you're with right now?
Oddly enough, this guy is more of a top and a dominant type. He's very quote-unquote straight-acting. He's not into gay culture. He likes going out to gay places and he likes some gay things. Actually, in the car, he was listening to a Liza Minelli song and I was like, "Oh my God, what is this?" but he's very in touch with his masculinity and kind of a regular, average guy, which is a big turn-on because when everything's about Gaga and Madonna, it gets to be really boring. He's very down to earth, very chill. He's very grounded, he has a good job, he invests his money. He's very professional. He's an adult. It's weird. I don't really feel like an adult, but I guess we are. Now that we're adults, we have to start looking for more appropriate people.

Do you have any crazy hook-up stories?
I was driving down Cheshire Bridge Road. It tends to be a little bit of a cruise zone. I was at a red light and I happened to look over at the car next to me. The driver was looking at me. I kind of smiled and looked away, because I tend to be a bit shy sometimes. Then I looked back and he looked at me and smiled. And I smiled again. The light turned green so we started driving, but then another red light appeared down the road, so we were looking at each other again. He kind of did this tilt with his head, like "Do you want to follow me?" At first I looked away, and in my head I was thinking, "I don't know, it's late, I need to go home, and this is kind of scandalous and potentially dangerous." But I was a little bit horny. So I looked over and I kind of nodded. And he drove down the intersecting street and I followed for about a quarter of a mile.

He pulled into this neighborhood that was pretty dark and not very populated. So I got out of my car and into his passenger side. We just talked for a minute, and then he put his hand on my… area. At this point, I had gone through all of this; I didn't want to be coy. So I went for it. I put my hand on his and both our junks came out. And you know, mutual jerking off and some giving head to each other. This isn't my normal behavior! But we decided to go to his apartment, which led to sex, and it was very hot. And after we both climaxed we said our goodbyes and I went on my way. I've never seen him again.

No messing around with phone numbers.
No. He was very nice, though. It wasn't like he said, "Get out of my place." He actually said, "Do you know how to get out of here, do you know where you're going?" And I said, "Yeah." It was a very good experience. It was hot. It worked out well.