Dating Confessions by You "I'm wearing sexy underwear while talking to you online so that I feel confident enough to tell you that I'm into you."
Scanner by Emily Farris Today on Hooksexup's culture blog: We bring you more Dita Von Teese from the German Playboy.
Screengrab by Various Today in Hooksexup's film blog: Holiday special - 35 people, places and movies we're thankful for.
The Remote Island by Bryan Christian Michael Phelps indulges Anderson Cooper in some watersports and Dexter makes a 'bitch move.' Plus: the secret of Tina Fey's scar, revealed!
Gemini (May 21-Jun. 21)
If you think back to your younger years of building tree houses, elaborate cushion forts, and painstaking replicas of the Justice League HQ – complete with an enormous mock-videophone made out of cellophane and tin foil – your current digs may just look a little shabby by comparison. But don’t fret, Gemini. You don’t have to be Rem Koolhaas to spruce things up; gravity-defying cantilevers would probably piss off your roommates, anyway. Instead, learn to tap into the creativity of your salad days, and your overnight guests will never want to leave.
Cancer (June 21-July 21)
It's hot outside, but you're hotter. Mid-week, Saturn will be in a superbly sexy angle to the Sun. What does this mean for you? Lots of steamy action. And orgasms. And costumes. And a sex swing. Maybe even an entire re-enactment of R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet. All we can say for sure is, it’s gonna be awesome. And if your friends want to take you out this Friday, for the love of God, say yes. They’ve got some freakin’ sweet plans that you do not want to miss out on (strippers? open bar? R. Kelly?). Whatever the evening might entail, the universe urges you to go out and jump on that pole. Figuratively, or literally…
Leo (July 22-Aug. 22)
In a relationship? Look, we don’t want to pressure you, but the stars say this is the week to make a commitment. The sun, your fabulous ruler, is showering you with some seriously sensual rays in the early part of the week. With this little boost of sunshine, you’ll be super-eloquent, sexy, and anything you create this week will withstand the test of time. While it might be cute to create a boner that would “withstand the test of time,” we’d opt for something a little more romantic. Besides, if you have an erection for over four hours, you’re supposed to go to the hospital; it’s like, a serious medical condition. Single? That sucks.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 21)
This should be a good week for you, Virgo, if you’re willing to take a few risks. Thanks to Venus, your social life will be buzzing, so be on the lookout for a friend who wants to set you up with someone they know. Blind dates can be scary, but chances are you and a new date will have more chemistry than a high school science department. If your date does end up leering at the hot bartender, or enthusing about his collection of animal skulls, then you can always ditch the loser and meet up with your friend for a late-night swap of dating horror stories over greasy Chinese takeout. Either way, don’t be afraid to go out (or order the Kung Pow chicken): this week is all about spicing it up.
Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22)
With Venus in Gemini, you might be facing a delicious, double-sided dilemma this week. Never let it be said that you can’t have too much of a good thing, because you’ll be painfully pulled between two new romantic possibilities in the upcoming days. It may be hard to choose the vegan yoga instructor over the hard-hitting law student who can drink you under the table, but trying to keep both of these options open will only end in disaster. Learn something from the tropes of mediocre sitcoms, and end the double life before you get a drink thrown in your face and a kick to your groin.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
If it's been a hard month for you, then this week will be sweet relief. Mercury is finally moving out of retrograde, and that means most of your troubles are over. Should you take this time to sit back and relax in your new-found tranquility? Of course not – it’s party time, my friend. Frankly, we’ve always felt that there is just too much time between Memorial Day and the Fourth of July when it comes to reasons to have a big bash. So gather your friends and get reacquainted with your fun-loving side. If you’re single, watch out for a Pisces who will keep the party going with you well into the early hours of the morning. Careful: those fish can be slippery.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
If you’ve been entertaining high-end prostitution fantasies, now could be the time to make your dreams a reality. Saturn rules your financial house, and with the Sun and Saturn teaming up this week, you’re going to have a huge financial breakthrough involving a partnership. Basically, you could so be the next Pretty Woman. If having sex for money isn’t your bag, you can try other forms of prostitution – like office work or screenplay writing. Your choices might make you feel crappy about yourself, but don’t worry. At the end of the week Mars is sending a supportive beam to Pluto, boosting your optimism for the future. You’ll still be an office whore, but at least you’ll feel good about it.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
They call you “Iron Man” for a reason. And lately it’s not because you’re hard as a rock (or a top-grossing hit). It’s more that you’ve been absolutely emotionally unavailable, which can cause your moves in bed to be about as fluid as the way Christopher Walken speaks. Luckily, the Sun joins steamy Venus this week, giving you a romantic opportunity to melt that cold, hard shell. So bone up (pun happily intended), swallow your pride, and engage in a little research in the sex section of your local Barnes and Noble. Soon you’ll be flowing as smoothly as Walken’s dance moves...
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Two looming eclipses will bring a greater surprise than Mario “Slater” Lopez’s sudden career comeback. No, you won’t make the cover of Total Workout and then inexplicably become the star of A Chorus Line, but good fortune will enter your life soon. Keep your eyes peeled for upstart business opportunities. And let’s face it, champ: you need it. Though money can’t buy happiness, you’re not going to get a second date if you keep sending the girl at the end of the bar two-dollar PBRs. Unless, of course, you live in Williamsburg.
Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
What’s more starving and sad than Joan Rivers in a Geico Commercial? That’s right: your sex life. We wish there was good news on the horizon, but with Mars tearing through your sixth house, any encouragement may lead to a regrettable encounter, one that Geico insurance can’t cover. Try forgetting that even eighty-five-year-old Aunt Sally in Boca is getting laid more than you and hole yourself up for the weekend. Study your porn collection as inspiration for when the dry spell ends. But take it slow: this isn’t the week to be so easy that even a Caveman could do you.
Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19)
This week's Sun-Saturn collaboration means that you’d have to try very hard to fail at anything. So for once, it’s okay to follow Larry the Cable Guy’s lead: coast on by, and you’ll still have an almost unfair level of success. Free drinks will materialize when you hit the bar, the path to the front of the concert will open up even though you got there a half hour late, and an advance iPhone 3G will find its way to your doorstep with no explanation at all. And don’t even worry about your dating life: you’ll have multiple hotties begging for you to “git ’em done.”
Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20)
Uranus is headed into retrograde on Thursday, and you know what that means (aside from the “ass joke” part): your little world is about to go topsy-turvy. Your Oxford lace-up allegiances may go sneakerhead. Your artistic powers may go limp for a stretch as you fantasize about a career in financial accounting. When the dust settles, though, everything you like about yourself happily will remain intact. In the meantime, take the opportunity to phase out the vanilla in your life so you can sample some more daring flavors.
, featuring curious yet marvelous infusions of cucumber and rose petal.
