Douchebag Is the New Black

Years before hipster fashion appropriated a good two decades of American past, The Onion came out with a pretty prescient article, "U.S. Dept. Of Retro Warns: 'We May Be Running Out of Past.' And now that the crotch-hugging seventies and the straight-up ugly eighties close to running their course in the pantheon of fashion stupidity, where are we to go next? What is the next step in fashion subversion?

Douchebags.

Yes, that's right. Break out your friend's brother's Ed Hardy t-shirts because douchebag is the next logical step. It's a look so unattractive, so dumb, so deeply reviled, that much like the flames of a house-fire, it has nowhere to go but up. In a year and a half all the skinny jeans in Williamsburg might be replaced by Von Dutch stovepipes; all the porn mustaches of Silverlake might disappear and give way over-pumped biceps and helmets of spiked hair. Okay, it probably won't happen, but it would make for an interesting Marc Jacobs spring line.