Rutgers Sorority Suspended After "Horrific" Hazing

Apparently, nightly paddlings so severe that they will send you to the hospital to teach you how to "rely" on your paddlers! If it's good enough for monsters who kidnap people and hide them in their house for years, it's good enough for Sigma Gamma Rho. (It does kind of put that "Don't wear cheap shoes" dress code in perspective, though, doesn't it? Remember girls: only total sluts wear low-cut tops to the caning ceremony! But really, you know the girls at Cornell are so happy with the timing of this.) According to the New York Post:

...one of as many as seven alleged victims described a frightening nightly ritual of paddlings, saying she'd been struck 201 times between Jan. 18 and Monday, The Star-Ledger reported. Others told cops they'd been denied food.

Now, I can't really speak to the Greek system as a whole - I've mostly avoided them in every way possible because they frighten and confuse me, not to mention I simply detest the taste of a Roofie Coloda - but god damn, Sigma Gamma Rho of Rutgers University! You are not a British boarding school in 1918. You are not an S&M lesbian porn movie. Put down the paddles. Back away from the roofie punch.

Also, female college freshman of the world: once the beatings start, run away from that sorority. There are other ways to do community service! And you don't even have to pretend that a kissing booth actually counts!