While You Were Sleeping: Obama's Penis Signature?

This young boy spent his birthday beating the world record for wearing the most pairs of underwear at one time. What did I do on my birthday a few days later? I got drunk and tried to remove everyone else's underwear.

Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen are on hiatus. Get 'em now.

Zac Efron and an obviously-heaily-Photoshopped Jennifer Love Hewitt are the cover stars of People's 50 Most Beautiful Bodies issue.

It's sold out, thank God (there are enough of these in existence already), but the Gag Gag sex doll will still terrify us for years to come.

Megan Fox posed in lingerie for Armani and so we have to admit, once again, that she's kind of hot. (Oh God, what have I done to deserve this curse?)

And, at long last, Accidental Penis has found us an accidental penis that we can share with you:

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