Scanner Highs And Lows: Big brains and bikini baristas

This week, we welcomed back small-brained peons like Beavis and Butthead, used our brains more after sex and tried to wrap our minds around the hot dude behind the Ke$ha "gays in the military" music video.

 

HIGHS:

Let's get right to it -- this soldier who made the Ke$ha video simply kicks ass. Click here now.

Readers debated the merits of this study, which claimed virgins have fewer brain cells than people who have regular sex.

Michigan joined in on the bikini barista craze, although readers were disappointed with the quality of the, uh, coffee.

Christina Hendricks' yearbook and GQ photos remind us... sorry, what were we talking about? We've completely lost control of our vocabularies.

It's great that forty billionaires will give up half their Swiss bank accounts when they die, but it would be even better if they gave it to us now.

Damn it, "Glee," why did you have to hire Carol Burnett as a new cast member? Now we might have to actually watch you.

 

LOWS:

Charlize Theron got roped into one of Diablo Cody's annoyingly coy screenplays.

Hooksexup went undercover on Craigslist's "Casual Encounters" section and was met with a stunning display of true humanity.

Great, now we're going to start getting 50 e-mails per day claiming "we can grow yor dick like thee duck dick."

If you grew up in a nutty religious house like this one, we can understand why you'd grow up to make such blandly "edgy" music like "I Kissed A Girl."

Nice try, Europe's beer companies, but drinking more beer won't get us a date with the woman in this photo.

And, Comedy Central, please just bring back "Reno 911" itself instead of allowing some weird space show to steal all its cast members.

 

By the way, we highly recommend listening to "Slip Inside This House" by 13th Floor Elevators while watching the ridiculous loop above.