We never saw the R. Kelly sex tape when it made the rounds in 2002, so forgive us if we're a little shocked that it's set to the tune of the Spice Girls and the Backstreet Boys. Maybe focusing on that is our brain's way of blocking out the rest of it.

The jurors sure did see the tape yesterday, though. And they'll probably have to see it a few more times because it appears the only way Kelly is going to get off in this case is if the jury decides it's not him in the tape.

Anyway, for those of you lucky enough to have not witnessed it, here's what a jury of 12 of Kelly's peers were forced to endure yesterday:

The roughly 27-minute homemade video shows a man having sex with a young female, who is naked for most of the recording — except for a necklace with a cross dangling from it.

At the start of the videotape, the man hands the female money and she mouths the words, "Thank you." She is often blank-faced, impassive. The man speaks to the female in a hushed, monotone voice, and she calls him "Daddy."

Songs from the Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys blare from a radio. The female dances — the man out of view. Back in view, he has sex with her. The man walks up to the camera to adjust it a few times, but his face is often obscured.

As she dances, the female urinates on the floor. Near the end of the video, the man urinates on the female.

Okay, the peeing we almost get (almost, we said...but we hope the floor wasn't carpeted!) but the Backstreet Boys and the Spice Girls?

Maybe she really was 13, because when we were around that age we decided that we would someday lose our virginity in a candle-filled room with the Girls' "2 Become 1" playing in our purple CD player. If only it would have been like that and not to our manager at Just For Feet (the world's largest athletic shoe store) in his apartment behind the bowling alley.

[Yahoo!: Sex tape shown to jurors, court in R. Kelly Trial]