For a while, we tried to remain balanced, nitpicking each party's candidates with snarky attacks.
Then John McCain's campaign took a horrendous turn. It wasn't just on the strategic end, although that's what doomed him; rather, there seemed to be a point where he said, "I used to be the type who didn't stoop so low. Now I realize I can't win any other way" or "I want to win so badly I have temporarily lost control of my convictions."
And that's where Obama stepped in.
Now, Obama's no saint, but the reason it was so hard to trash him throughout this campaign is that he made few glaring missteps. Even the missteps the media reported on were exaggerated or the work of some other member of the campaign (yeah, we mean you, Joe Biden), and ultimately, we grew bored with covering the contest. It had been easy to pick on Clinton, Kucinich, Romney, and Bob Dole (man, we miss '96-- that dude was constant comedy.) But once Obama and McCain stepped into the ring this summer, all the drama seemed to fall away. It was like two fighters whose eyes sagged and their trainers had to slap them around: "Hey, go out and get 'em, it's not over yet!" But from then on, it was only potshots (William Ayers = yawn) and the usual droning putdowns ("see, this is a fundamental difference between blah blah blah...")
Ironically, just as everyone seemed to get terribly excited about the race, we lost all interest in it. And it wasn't just because Obama was on a clear path to victory. It just saddened us to watch McCain's desperation grow more and more pathetic and his rhetoric become more hollow with every "my friends" and "Joe the Plumber" reference. McCain entered the campaign as one of the most popular politicians in the country, with a near 70% national approval rating. He leaves it having done a complete 180-degree about-face into irrelevance.
Well, were there 10 examples enough in there? If not, here's our Top 10 Reasons To Vote For Barack Obama Today (assuming you haven't voted already and aren't able to have a Diebold machine and reverse your vote):
10. Obama has energized young people like never before. And studies show young people are better informed on the issues than the over 30 crowd.
9. Even Stephen Colbert had to sort of "break character" and endorse Obama. Yep, it was necessary.
8. A Missouri newspaper, which had called the civil rights marchers "Negro trash" in a front page headline in 1963, endorsed Barack Obama yesterday. If Obama can't help solve the still-lingering racial issues in our union, no one can.
7. After eight years of the worst President in American history, Ralph Nader would be welcome. But you know who wouldn't? A guy who promises to continue the policies of that worst President.
6. After eight years of the worst speaker in Presidential history, a guy who gets knocked for his "good speeches" by a Vice Presidential candidate who doesn't even know what the fuck she's talking about (excuse me, that was impolite) doesn't even know what a Vice President does is going to be much more tolerable.
5. Don't believe the McCain spin: Barack Obama is going to cut taxes on the middle class. He has to-- he knows that not only would conservatives call him on it, but liberals would be right there with them. He won't take away your guns either, unless you own rocket launchers and intend to use them.
4. Because he picked a gaffe-laden candidate with a good heart and the right experience to balance the ticket, while the other guy picked the very personification of a gaffe, a Governor with a thirst for vendettas, love of the worst kind of discourse, and relishes lying in a way that would warm the heart of Richard Nixon.
3. Healthcare for many Americans vs. healthcare for the rich. Social security vs. privitization. Tax cuts for the middle class or a soaring national debt. War in Iran vs. better diplomacy first. Hope vs. cynicism. Experience vs. Ineptness.
2. Sarah Palin. It bears repeating. There is little doubt she will be President before 2012 if McCain is elected. That alone would disqualify her ticket from getting a vote, no matter which party it comes from.
1. We need you. This is a personal plea from all of us. We don't care if you're in Nevada, Oregon, Montana, or here in New York, where Obama will "win anyway." You have nothing better to do today, and that includes eating, working, and using the restroom. That's no joke. And damn it, you get free Ben & Jerry's-- and since you have to vote to get it, it might as well be for someone who at least seems to care about us, no matter what else you think about him. The same can't be said for the other names on the ballot...
That is all. Now go.
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