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While You Were Sleeping: Joining the Mile High Club

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Forty million people tuned in to watch Obama's press conference. Yes, but what does it mean?

We're not sure what to say about the bank robber who rammed his getaway car into another car, fled, took a bus, taxi, and a ride from his sister, and was finally apprehened at home with a paltry four grand when he was forced to call 9-1-1. It turns out that he'd arrived home to find his roommate dead of an apparent suicide.

Oh no! A Three Stooges movie now?! Make it stop... and tell these actors we now officially hate them: Sean Penn, Jim Carrey, and Benicio del Toro.

These defense lawyers for Phil Spector would crack us up if they weren't helping psycho get away with second-degree murder. 

Would you eat a 4,800 calorie burger? Would anyone?

Remember the guy who was busted in the act of having sex with a car wash vaccuum cleaner? Yeah, a mere 90 days for scarring those witnesses for life.

Skype is #1 in the world-- take that, AT&T.

A GOP whip chose the whip Britney Spears used onstage.

Chicago's St. Patrick's Day Parade is no more.

It's week 915 of the tabloids pretending Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are breaking up. But, for the first time ever, people are starting to believe it might be true.

And singer Elvis Crespo joined the Mile High Club... or so says this woman, who complained about it.

 

Related:

Rolling Stone Turns to Gossip Girl to Remain Semi-Relevant

Jennifer Aniston Finally Speaks Out About Brad Pitt

Britney Spears Suffers From A Vagina Slip

"You'll Still Pay Money To Come See Me"

While You Were Sleeping: If Even Apple Is In Trouble


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About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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