So you're in a high-stress profession.  You work all day and all night to try to make the world a better place, but to protect some very important people, you have to keep certain things about your job secret.  But the strain of such a massive secret, a thing that some people would kill to know, can't be borne forever by just one man.  So you turn to the one person you think you can trust, the one man you believe will keep your secret:  your faithful butler.  And then he goes and blabs it to the whole world.

Ever since Christopher Nolan's latest Batman flick, The Dark Knight, made its first trillion dollars, speculation has been rampant about who's going to play the villain role in the next installment.  Heath Ledger's untimely death makes it an unlikely, albeit intriguing, possibility that he'll return as the Joker; the two hottest rumors are that Angelina Jolie will be the draw, slipping into a Catwoman costume, and that Johnny Depp and Phillip Seymour Hoffman will tag team as the Riddler and the Penguin.  Both have generally dismissed as fan-driven wishful thinking until yesterday, when Michael Caine -- currenty paying his club fees as Bruce Wayne's butler Alfred -- took a moment at the Toronto International Film Festival to cite an unnamed Warner Brothers exec and insist that the latter rumor is true.

Of course, just to keep us baying, Hoffman had to come out and insist he's never heard any such thing.  But who are you gonna trust, the Penguin, or Batman's loyal batman?  The rat!

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