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imageI Did It For Science by Grant Stoddard







To achieve enlightened consciousness through orgasm without the expulsion of seminal fluid, vis-â-vis strategic pressure on the perineum otherwise known as injaculation (or, how to save up for your future).




State your hypothesis in the form of a prediction that can be verified by the results of the experiment.

Trying to hold in a sneeze is bad for your heart. Stifling yawns never feels good, either. So how can plugging up your shag-cannon take you to new heights of sextasy? I'm either in for Sting-like carnal enlightenment or a comical, messy death.




Please list all the materials required for this experiment (including if applicable, how they were obtained).

Perineum (one)
Chakras (seven)
Hands (two, my own)





In this portion of your report, you must describe step-by-step what you did in your lab. It should be specific enough that someone who has not seen the lab can follow the directions and recreate the same lab.

Taoists, shamans, tantric kooks and even sarong-wearers (e.g. Steven Seagal) are pressing their perinea and injaculating like there's no tomorrow. Here, they say, is why:
  1. Every splooge is equal to ridding yourself of four meals worth of essential vitamins and minerals.
  2. With injaculation one needn't "suffer" that sleepy, floating feeling that comes immediately after dropping sauce.
  3. The practice is purported to improve prostate and cardio vascular health, prevent the onset of Alzheimer's disease, end droughts, fatten cattle, etc.
  4. When applied to lovemaking, one can shag like the Energizer bunny on Viagra.
  5. Most interestingly, injaculation is the art of redirecting one's orgasmic bliss inwardly, so that the feeling travels up your spinal cord, through the seven chakras and explodes in your brain, giving you a pleasure that you never dreamed imaginable as opposed to shooting your mess into an old sock.
  6. I think I read something about "redirecting chi" or whatever.
The stage set for carnal bliss, I started to flog the bishop in my own time-honored (if not particularly mystical) tradition. Assuming that mastering the technique would take eons (and lots of laundry), I'd designated seven nights of self-lust for my journey to libidinal Valhalla.

And because no one likes to travel down that metaphysical road of the unknown alone, I had enlisted my colleague Brian Battjer to seek the path to Nirvana with me. Our entire relationship is predicated on one-upmanship, so our seeking enlightenment together quickly devolved into a "head-to-head" competition. The first man to successfully injaculate would be declared victor. (Forget enlightenment; office bragging rights were now at stake.)*




Quantify the effects of the experiment.

A couple of minutes in and fast approaching the point of no return, I located what Taoist's refer to as the "million-dollar point," the spot nestled between a gentleman's love spuds and his rusty bullet hole. I pressed hard and felt a strong, constant pulse on my perineum. Just before orgasm, the pulse became arrhythmic, then graduated to a panicked pounding, like a palpitating elk heart betwixt my legs. Trying to really concentrate on the feeling was extremely difficult. I was just hoping that I survived long enough to give the scientific community my theory on why people spontaneously combust.

Then, immediately prior to the moment where I'd typically soil the bed linen, I saw for a brief second what all those pony tailed forty-somethings had been proselytizing about. The build-up to orgasm was momentarily more intense than usual, but the feeling soon vanished as quickly as it had arrived. I continued to press hard for a minute or two, concentrating on the subsidence of pressure in my rig. I withdrew my fingers from my undercarriage and propped myself up on my shoulders, disturbed and underwhelmed by the whole ordeal.

Disappointed? Me too. Then, as noted by the injaculation's proponents, I realized I could "go again" straight away and did, several times, until I got bored and a little bit depressed. The real shocker came after I went to the bathroom to find that my pee had more head on it than a pint of Guinness at the White Lion, the local brew pub back in my native Fobbing, England. In other words, I'd just come in my bladder. And that's fucked up.




Summarize your findings. Don't forget to attempt to identify possible variables that could result in different findings for others trying to recreate your test results.

Ever stuffed a tomato in the tailpipe of an enemy's car? Tied a knot in the end of a curmudgeonly neighbor's garden hose? Blocking conduits is something mischievous young urchins do for yuks. It's certainly something you don't want to be doing to your beloved meat and two veggies. If any male mammal's purpose for being could be crystallized in a singular moment, it would be Old Faithful's glorious release. As Bubba might say, "You can't rock the jock if your cock is blocked, fool."



*Brian's Addendum: I Tried to Do It for Science

As a twice-a-day (minimum) practitioner of the five-knuckle shuffle, I figured that within the allotted week I'd have plenty of time to master injaculation I've always fancied myself something of a cocksmith but I was, alas, a failure. As much as I wish I could use this space to exalt my plumbing's superiority and to usurp Grant as the king of sexual hijinks, it is with a heavy heart that instead, I must use it to write my concession speech.

When I got down to business the first time, my experience was almost identical to Grant's. But while he was able to maintain steady pressure on his perineum until his pulsating prostate gave up on trying to give forth, I got nervous, eased up the pressure after about ten seconds and let the love juice fly. (This was mostly because, somewhere in the back of my mind, I could hear my horrified mother's reaction to my future inability to provide her with grandchildren: "What do mean you broke your penis?")

Disturbed by my initial results but not easily discouraged, I immediately threw on some down-low-blood-flow-inducing porno, and ten minutes later, I was back in the saddle for attempt number two, determined to show my vas deferens who was boss.

Sadly, I had the same results this time, and every subsequent time thereafter: Upon reaching orgasm, I would apply pressure to my grassy knoll, but my works would just continue to spasm until, fearing I would hurt myself, I would ease the pressure and watch my seed shoot (okay, dribble) forth in defiance. I tried about fifteen times, and each time I managed to keep the pressure on a little longer (maxing out at about twenty seconds). But in the end, I didn't once successfully divert my ejaculate inward. From now on, I'm happy to leave the taint-touching to Grant.


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14 Comments

A very interesting article I have a little to add to the subject. I have been a happy member of the twice a day every day self love club now for about 16 years. So self love has some importance in my life as such I am always on the look out for ways to increase my enjoyment. Well I have done the Injaculation Choad push a time or two and sadly I must say that it sucked all around. However while experimenting with this I did discover the Nirvana I was seeking. Ok so here is the break down. Its Saturday you have nothing to do the whole day so you dedicate one to two hours of your day to making old Mr. One-Eye happy. Here is what I would do. You bring yourself slowly to the point of no return and back off, then do it again, and again, etc... If you’re not careful you can go too far and tighten up and you will injaculate which really sucks. What you want to try and do is bring yourself to the breaking point about six or seven times. Then you make your final run. If you build slowly then just hall ass the last minute you will have the Shot of a lifetime. Were talking change your religion type of load. It is a little messy because at this point your name should be Comes in Quarts. I swear by this there is nothing like it will put a spring in your step and a serious smile on your face. In any event I urge any man to try this at least once.

CAS commented on 02/06

On a semi-related note, here's another assignment: Try out the Aneros. This is even better thatn saving for the future; it's more like receiving compound dividends. Using this device doesn't require saving up, rather it increases your ability to furhter your cause.

mt commented on 02/06

My Goodness! This all just doesn't quite sound right or natural! I too equate this with stifling a sneeze or well, being constipated or something. It's just not healthy, but I have always applauded any lover who is open-minded enough to experiment and attempts to heighten our sexual experience, as I have a few tricks of my own... although, I haven't heard of any female versions of injaculations... wouldn't even want to go there. I sometimes expel an amount of ejaculate myself, (if I'm really lucky) and would never want to plug it up!

HP commented on 02/06

Boys, you obviously didn't read ALL the directions, and you've failed miserably at a technique that at least three other men I know have mastered. Again, it's the details that matter. Men need to practice circulating the energy, so the key is to start circulating blood BEFORE you get to the point of needing to use the 'million dollar point.' This is accomplished by using the big muscles of the hips and pelvis to draw the energy-infused blood out of the penis and into circulation. By doing so, you can keep your stimulation level well below the ejaculatory threshold. That's not to say you don't ORGASM. Orgasm and ejaculation do not have to coincide. It is possible to orgasm without ejaculating, and vice versa. Much like the ropes and harnesses in rock climbing, the 'million dollar point' isn't designed to keep you from ejaculating evey time, but a "backup safety system." The idea is to prevent yourself from getting to this point in the first place. By circulating your sexual energy througjout your body, you can reach a full-body orgasm without blowing your wad all over your partner and the sheets. Not to brag, but I have had orgasms without ejaculation, that are full-body, long-lasting (30 to 90 seconds) and quite mind-blowing for both my partner and myself. The only way to corroborate this is to learn it for yourself. By the way, it took some time and practice, but it's well worth the effort.

LJ commented on 02/06

'injaculation' can be more harmful than ejaculating as the energy that you supposedly stop at the perineum should be regularily moved or else it will probably cause more problems around your prostrate. I think you'll find the idea is about keeping life energy free flowing throughout your whole body and even your day. It is certainly about more than just a one off toss with your hand trapped on your bollocks to get your rocks off. but a good read and nice to see that it is coming into the public area at long last. yours

zen commented on 02/07

No trick at all. I do this every time,without trying. Of course it's because I broke my neck and did severe damage to my spinal cord. It's not a proceedure I recommend. No particular enlightenment has ensued in my case. Maybe I just don't have the right attitude.

ds commented on 02/07

I love you, Grant, but I had to stop reading as I got dizzy and seriously ill just thinking about it. I want to be open minded, but, aaaagh. You are a brave one.

BC commented on 02/07

Why didn't you contact Woody Harrelson for this? Well done again, Grant. I think this is your best written one to date. Peace.

JM commented on 02/08

Hi! A well written and giggle inducing piece, but you sure have the wrong idea about male orgasms. It's too complicated to really explain in a little text box like this, but the basic gist is that ejaculation and orgasm are seperate processes, and it's the latter that you're really after. When you get it to work, you don't ejaculate outside or inside, you just come (and come and come...when it really works, anyway). Go read either _The Multiorgasmic Man_ or _The Multiorgasmic Couple_ to get the full lowdown. I'm only 28 and I have no ponytail (although I have been known to wear a sarong), but hooboy is it worth it.

da commented on 02/08

I'm sorry, but you've got it all wrong. Tantric sex for men is not about blocking your ejaculation and forcing it into your bladder. That's mechanically possible, but yucky, as you discovered. Rather, you can learn to have orgasms *without* ejaculating. Physiologically, you start to orgasm *before* you start to ejaculate. By paying attention to your whole body (not just your dick), breathing consciously, and backing off on genital stimulation when you start to orgasm but before you start to ejaculate, you can have orgasm after orgasm, like women do, without losing arousal between orgasms. It's amazing. Read _The Multi-Orgasmic Man_ by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams. Do the exercises. You'll get it. It will change your sex life. And yes, you can learn to direct sexual energy up into the rest of your body and spirit. But that takes consistent physical and spiritual practice, not just a jackoff contest with your buddy. Best of luck with this amazing gift, Anthony Barreiro

AB commented on 02/09

IT WORKS! I stumbled on this practice in my own explorations, trying to stretch my time to payoff, I would pick a time on the clock and not let my self GO until said time. Pressing on the nether land it seems would back everything up until, BANG! It definately made my eyes roll. It's like working out for sex. When the payoff comes, it comes hard! Practice solo and then impress your friends.

cmc commented on 02/09

You call it "injaculation." What it is, technically, is retrograde ejaculation, a common phenomenon among those men who have had prostate surgery. The orgasm is strong. The "cum" shoots backward into the bladder,and, as observed by your reporter,, urine has a "head" on it. If you pee right away, that is, right after coming, you will be able to see the thick blob of cum in the toilet bowl. In fact, for men who want to conceive there's a way of filtering the urine through a kind of special cloth while in a doctor's office. The technician uses a syringe to draw cum from the cloth and thereby salvage some sperm, enough, it is said, to permit conception.

mf commented on 02/09

"Taoists, shamans, tantric kooks and even sarong-wearers (e.g. Steven Seagal) are pressing their perinea and injaculating like there's no tomorrow." Why would a Sarong-wearing Steven Seagal do this by himself? Did you try this method with a partner? Does this yield the same lackluster results?

kkg commented on 02/11

Hi you were not pressing the right spot , it is a little further back , and you must breat in threw the nose and pull energy up , and contract pc muscel

sm commented on 04/10
 

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