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David Lynch made a little deranged cartoon for his website back in 2002. Dangerous Minds called it, “Dr. Katz on mescaline.” Sounds about right.
Just last week some really attractive idiot was telling me all the reasons why the Bermuda Triangle is a really a vortex into a black hole and that’s where all the planes go. I complemented her shirt and got another drink. Then today this guy thinks he’s found the Malaysian plane. Spoiler alert: It’s gone through a vortex into a black hole.
Mark Twain said a gold miner is a liar standing next to a hole in the ground. A Outside Magazine story tells how those liars are still standing next to holes in the ground to this day. Amazing writer Will Grant takes us on the trail for gold. We had hummus, grapes, tins of smoked oysters, and steaks bundled with dry ice; a bazooka-size tube of U.S. Geological Survey quadrangle maps, geologic topos, and Google Earth images; rock hammers, a sledgehammer, ore sample bags, and geologic compasses; two handguns and a flare gun; two boxes of wine and two bottles of liquor; and, specifically for Flint, who on doctor’s orders had quit drinking seven years ago, half an ounce of high-grade Colorado marijuana and five packs of Nat Shermans. Let’s ride!
If your teacher doesn’t show up to class today it’s because your college is paying them nothing. We know you’ll likely just go back to your dorm room and hit the gravity bong but we’re here to let you know it’s Adjunct Walkout Day. So all those cool professors, the young ones that made jokes about Left Shark after the Super Bowl and drive vespas and got you into David Foster Wallace? They’re adjuncts. The old professors with unruly nose hair that drones on about Lord Byron’s peg leg, they’re tenured. Tell your college administration they should pay the adjunct’s more — or else you be left with Professor Nose Hair for four more years.
Have we talked about how Empire is the best new show on TV? It’s basically King Lear set in the world of hip-hop moguls (they even acknowledge the King Lear similarities). Meta. It’s got all the moral anxiety of the Sopranos with heavy-handed soap opera dialogue of Dallas and Breaking Bad type plotlines. Oh and Courtney Love covers Al Green on it. Enough said.
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