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4. Wii Sports
Nintendo may have jeopardized its sedentary fanbase with the new Wii, which requires physical control on a supra-thumb level. But it has also (semi-intentionally) made the video-game date more valuable than ever. Even a hapless soul who's wasted his or her entire life reading books or learning actual skills can pick up a Wii remote and join the rest of us. Playing tennis in Wii Sports is as easy as swinging the remote; you and your date will get all the competitive rush of actual tennis, but the couch will be right there for you to collapse on. — PS
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3. Singstar
Karaoke is already a perfect date. The coupling of brash disregard for your appearance with a two-drink-gone imitation of Robert Palmer is enough to make anyone on earth seem sexy as hell. So why is Singstar, essentially karaoke with rules imposed, inherently superior? Two words: naked karaoke. Who cares about the questionable song selection (Ashlee Simpson's "Invisible") when you and your date can belt out your best Bono in your birthday suits. Singing badly in public is sexy. Singing badly in the buff, just for your date, is sexier. — JC
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2. Samba de Amigo
Psychedelic monkeys and ass-shaking are like video-game Spanish Fly. While Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution popularized the rhythm-based game for everyone from the high-school set to retirement-home singles, neither can touch the sheer weirdness of Samba de Amigo. You have to shake maracas in time with a monkey. The monkey looks like he's been eating mushrooms. The wild primary colored visuals and salsa music are downright hallucinatory and lend themselves to off-color remarks and incredulous laughter. Amigo is what you and your date do after you've gone back to your place for another drink and before you've finally made your way to the bedroom at dawn, already mostly undressed. — JC
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1. Lucky & Wild
Lucky & Wild is the most perfect date game ever made. Two players: you, and the object of your affection. One of you will assume the character of sharp-dressed driver Lucky; the other, rakish gunman Wild. Who adopts which role will almost certainly have broader implications for your future relationship. Who's cool, collected, and in control? Who's rowdy and impulsive? Who's Bogie and who's Bacall? Who drives, and who, uh, has a lot of guns? Feel free to analyze further as you and your (sex) partner barrel through five stages of crime-fighting fun. Bad guys may attempt to throw dynamite into your car, but adept Wilds will quickly blast the offending explosives out of the air — if the Luckys by their side don't manage to swerve out of the way first. In between stages, you will return to the Pink Cats Garage for a tune-up performed by bikini-clad female car mechanics. You and your date will subconsciously absorb the suggestion of sexual healing.
With hundreds of goons coming after you, and presumably a limited supply of quarters, death is almost inevitable. But afterwards, you will feel strangely elated, and may wish to have a drink. — PS
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