My First Time

My First Time: Male, 22, Philadelphia

Pin it


We’re looking for stories about the first time you had sex. Email  with 500-1000 words. (Don’t worry, we won’t print your name — but please do make sure to include your gender, where you were, and how old you were.) Submissions may be edited.

I didn’t date in high school due to a strict upbringing so it took the whole 4 years of college to learn the rules of sex and then learn about how the rules don’t actually exist and that they’re all in our heads. To clarify, all this learning didn’t mean I was having sex, which is the biggest problem with a lot of universities; filling students’ heads with knowledge but neglecting to teach them how to apply those skills in real life.

So I graduated college, having gone no further than fingering a girl, expecting nothing different as I entered grad school. I was never a fan of the sex-baseball analogy but I think it’s fitting that I describe myself as “stuck on 3rd,” since the night I finally slept with someone was the last game of the 2004 American League Championship Series. The Yankees/Red Sox series had the entire town in a frenzy. Yes, I wasn’t in either city but at the time but no one cared where we were; sports history was being made.

My friends and I went to a local college bar with no intentions of picking up women. We order pitchers of whatever was cheap — loan payments after all — and found the last empty table in the entire place with a view of a TV. The seats were easy to find because most of the patrons were on their feet the entire game; but regardless of the reason, we were grateful to be comfortable and settled and looking forward to becoming drunk spectators.

That’s when Bridget came out of left field — god I hate baseball metaphors. She sat right down at our table, introduced herself, and helped herself to our beer. In hindsight, my friends and I only let her get away with it because she was a girl but we were definitely annoyed. I couldn’t tell if Bridget was drunk or whimsical but either way she was not there to watch the game and after a few minutes became a bother. I completely sympathize when a friend or family member, in her case a cousin, drags you to an event you have no interest in but she refused to acknowledge anyone else’s excitement and focus. She talked about several loosely related topics during crucial plays, requiring no conversational feedback. During a pivotal point in the game, none of us were even making eye contact, yet she kept talking.

During the 7th inning stretch, as the game started looking one-sided, Bridget left to go to the bathroom. We all leaned in and my friend spoke up with the intensity of a locker room pep talk, “She wants to go home with one of us and I don’t think she cares who. Which one of you wants to flirt back?” I feigned selflessness, like I was taking one for the team, and cooly stated “I’ll take this.” The guys may or may not have known I was a virgin but they could probably sense I pined for it the most. With that, my friends got up and walked over to stand in front of the main TV, leaving me alone to await Bridget’s return. She never asked where everyone went, she just sat right next to me, close.

Eventually the game ended with half the room celebrating and half the room pretending not to be upset; I was doing neither. With Boston breaking the Curse of the Bambino, I was working on breaking the curse of my 22 year dry spell. I gave Bridget my undivided attention. This seemed to be what she was waiting for because she immediately put her hand on my inner thigh, and with no resistance from me, proceeded to rub my crotch. I was shocked. A lifetime of sexlessness made me unaccustomed to PDAs but common decency made me feel ashamed of the public, over-the-pants, handjob I was receiving. I pulled her hand away but interlocked our fingers, my way of saying, “Don’t do that… but I’m still interested.” As the overwhelming mix of embarrassment and desire toned down to a manageable level, I gave her a deep look, “Wanna get out of her?” She responded, “Yes.”

When got back to my place, the tide of her sexual aggression towards me ebbed a bit. She needed me to say that I wanted her before she took her clothes off. With her naked in my bed, the worry about whether we were having sex was gone, now replaced with the worry that I was going to completely mess up. I kept the lights on because I figure if I did it wrong at least I could see what happened, learn from it like an airplane blackbox that survives the accident.

Aside from a strange moment when she moaned a girl’s name, the journey fared well. There were no technical mishaps to speak of, although I came so quickly I had to fall back on my experiences on 3rd base to return the favor. I didn’t ask her to stay over so she took a cab home, which was for the best because I was still in the haze of a first timer.

We never saw each other again after that night. Maybe because I’m not a good person, maybe because I still didn’t know what being good entailed. But I’ve gotten older and I’ve gotten better and now, I actually like it when a girl spends the night.

Oh, and currently the Yankees and Red Sox aren’t doing well but honestly, I don’t really care, I’m more of a hockey guy.

best free dating apps 2021

A single dating companion may try to preserve his or her partner from good friends and family or threaten violence or a break up. find hookups near me This kind of particular person, like the a single I married for numerous decades sucked the life out of me , and know it is going to take many years of counseling, and recovery to heal from the damage my husband did to me. The more rapidly your notion reaches persons, the extra successful it is. olivia munn sexting Read about how coordination among public service agencies can enhance therapy for these youth.

actual free hookup websites

After your account is activated with a valid e mail address, filling out your profile starts. bakersfield doublelist And as you move by means of the world, you have to ignore these things. A new study finds that supportive coworkers improve our relationships at dwelling, and supportive partners make us extra productive at operate. funniest cards against humanity packs It has a lot of members from the Philippines, and when you create a profile and access the website, you recognize that it almost certainly accepts only the hottest girls.

top free hookup apps for android

In search of my a single and only Romanceassociated media and beliefs in romantic partnership destiny. A power structure describes energy and dominance relationships in a larger society. For instance, a feudal society below a monarchy exhibits a robust dominance hierarchy in both economics and physical power, whereas dominance relationships in a society with democracy and capitalism are extra complex. Buildup Throughout this stage, folks begin to trust and care about every single other. The require for intimacy, compatibility and such filtering agents as popular background and targets will influence no matter whether or not interaction continues. While science tends to make a compelling case that there is some genetic element to cheating, we also know that genetics are not destiny. And till there is a rapidgene test to identify the infidelity danger of your partner, the debate about the genetics of infidelity isnt especially helpful to any person. If you are like the couples in Dr. Hatfields analysis, you may perhaps find out that you have far much more in common in terms of sexual desires than you understand.

Image via Flickr

best free dating sites to hookup

Jose latin chat ee uu The service manually verifies each and every profile, making sure that its consumers are genuine and safe. Females now have to compete a lot additional for a male’s interest and as soon as they get it, they still have to compete to retain that very same consideration from the similar male. aneros getting started You will also not waste your power on dating experiences that might have no outcome.

Comments All those searching for cost-free foods along with a probable connection just sign-up and wait to get selected. Speak to our a lot of end users in The far east and North Korea who try to fulfill individuals on Tinder despite the fact that Facebook is prohibited. escort reviews charlotte nc grab your cell phone and search for matches on the run. Are you looking to fulfill your intimate fantasies? could be the best app for hooking up — most participants listed here are into BDSM. The website offers countless customers, way too, which means you might be able to look for a lover. SilverSingles comes with an almost equal sex proportion, as well, growing the likelihood of finding other informal-gender seekers.