Johnny, 25

What do you do for a living?
I'm trying to get into the medical field, whether as a physician's assistant or whatever. I'm taking a couple of courses now.

What is your sexual orientation?
I'm straight.

What's your relationship status?
My girlfriend of three years broke up with me last week. After a funeral.

That's terrible!
It's okay.

How are you taking it?
I'm pretty fine so far. I was convinced to come here because my best friend's girlfriend, who's hot, told me to get dressed up. So I said "Fine, whatever."

Great reasoning. Are you planning on jumping back into the dating pool, or are you going to take a break?
I would like to start dating again. People say that I'm really good on my feet. Not to mention that I've been hit on today like twelve times, by both males and females.

There are a lot of possibilities here.
Eight guys, four women. But I'm going for the women.

What are you looking for?
If I see a woman, I want to see a smile. If I don't see the right smile, I can't deal with it. She has to have eyes that are really attractive. Maybe like hazel brown? And a good laugh.

How are you impressing the ladies who hit on you?
Well, when I was trying to get ladies just to get with them, I had a line.

Lay it on me.
My favorite line is, "I just came back from the future, and I saw that you and I are still together ten years from now."

How many times has that worked for you?
Zero!

Your luck might change today!
I've used it four times, but still, zero-percent success rate so far.

Any crazy hookup stories?
One time, I ended up streaking for a girl who later ended up being a regular weekend fling. It was a bet I had lost in a beer-pong match. We were drunk. I lost, I streaked.

How long were you guys hooking up?
Two years. We were Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman before that movie came out. They based it off of us.

Oh really? What's the most unusual place you've had sex?
I was in a car, parked outside a university. The car was shaking, and a cop stopped by to check in on us. He said, "I'm not going to report this. Just finish and go." Those were his exact words.

Was it hard to finish then?
No, it was like I had the stamp of approval.

You didn't feel any pressure from the law?
No, but I did want him to walk away so I could finish quickly. Then I tried harder to go faster.

What's the craziest thing you've done to get laid?
Karaoke.

Do you have a special song?
I pick "Those Summer Nights" by John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John, and instead of singing "Wonder what she's doing now," I sing, "Wonder who she's doing now."

I see what you did there. Does it work?
Yes.

 

Grace, 24

What do you do for a living?
I'm a student.

What's your relationship status?
Engaged!

Congrats! When you met your fiancé, how did you impress him?
I was actually dating one of his friends at the time and I guess I just tried to be myself and to be really comfortable around him. I just tried to be curious about what he was doing. He didn't put up a front. He didn't try to be a different kind of person around other people. He was always the same. He was really motivated. He worked really hard and knew what he wanted to do with himself. He wasn't lazy.

How did he propose?
It was on our anniversary, and I knew he had my grandmother's ring, so I was thinking it was going to happen that night. I thought it was going to be at dinner and I was getting nervous about a public proposal and how I was going to deal with that. But he actually just woke me up, with roses all around, and came into bed with me and proposed just as I was waking up. It was perfect.

Do you have any funny or embarrassing hookup stories from your past?
He's right behind me, so hopefully he doesn't hear me, but the one time a friend and I were at a hostel in Barcelona and we brought guys back to our room. There were like, fifteen people in one room. It was probably not the smartest thing, but I was young and stupid.

Any crazy exes?
Oh God, yes. Once, when I broke up with someone, I found out he had had two other girlfriends when he was with me and when I ran into him a year later, he still said he was in love with me and wanted to come back to me. It was laughable.

What's the most unusual place you've had sex?
On a dance floor.

Were you at a club, then?
Yeah, it got pretty intense. Definitely.

Do you believe in soulmates?
I do, but I don't think there's only one. I think you can find a soulmate and if it doesn't work out, there are other ones out there as well.

Gay marriage was just legalized in New York. Do you think it could happen here?
Yes. I think we'll be one of the next states to go. For sure.

Would you have sex with Rahm Emanuel?
Totally.

 

Rudy, 67

What do you do?
I'm retired. I live eighty-something miles from here. I've been wanting to come to this parade for over twenty years. I decided today that I was going to come. Took two trains to get here with my son and I'm having a ball.

What's your sexual orientation?
I'm male. I'm one-hundred-percent male. But I have no qualms with whatever a person decides to do. You live and let live.

Does that mean you're straight?
Yes. Like I said, I'm all man. I'd like to get the opportunity to tell you. Since you're working now, maybe we can meet up later. You will know I'm a one-hundred-percent man.

Oh, really! What's your relationship status?
I'm widowed. My wife died from doing drugs.

I'm so sorry. How long ago was that?
Four years ago. I haven't had any sex since then, so I think you're taking a chance on interviewing me at this point.

Are you sexually frustrated?
Not really; I enjoyed myself as a youth. As a youth, I was really wild until I got married. I think I had enough sex by the time I was twenty-five to last me until seventy-five.

Do you have any crazy hookup stories from your past?
Well, once I was a Chicago city bus driver. Me and a couple friends of mine stopped in at a place on Halsted, and there were these five ladies sitting at the bar. We walked in, we partied, and I grabbed one of the ladies, and when she stood up, she was six-foot-five. I didn't pay any attention to that, but I was a little embarrassed because she was much taller than me. So we danced and when I got back to the table, I told my friends, "Wow, I feel like I was just dancing with a man!" and they said, "You were."

What normally attracts you to a lady?
Just somebody honest and cute and about... twenty-five years younger than me.

How do you impress somebody like that?
With my fingers crossed.

What's the craziest place you've had sex?
I don't know if there is one. But at home, my cat's been trying to get in my bed. She's been licking herself a lot lately, tryin' to get me hot, but I refuse.

Oh, so your cat's trying to turn you on? What's the most desperate thing you've done to get laid?
Nothing. I'm the kind of guy that just prefers love and affection. I have never paid for sex in my life and if I never have sex again, I'm okay with that.

I'm sure some ladies like to hear that.
I'm an affectionate kind of guy.

Gay marriage was just legalized in New York. Do you think it'll happen in Illinois or Michigan?
It might. I'll tell you this: I'm from the old school. I would've never thought that things that are happening now would come about. The new generation has a lot of dealin' to do with life. Quite a few more things to deal with than I had to deal with.

You said you've been wanting to come to this parade for twenty years, why this year?
Because I was able to save enough money for the two trains.

Was it worth the trip?
Oh yes, really. Especially you.

Interviews and photography by Ruth Tam. Want to talk to strangers in your town? Email