Whether you're clipping on a FitBit before a jog or turning on your Sleep Cycle app to log your eight hours, we're becoming increasingly obsessed with tracking our most human behaviors. It should be no shock to learn that now there's a way to quantify your sex life too. The Spreadsheets App, a mobile app that uses your phone's accelerometer and speakers to provide statistical feedback about your duration, thrusts, and decibel peak, is taking big data to the bedroom.
"Spreadsheets was created to approach sex in a way that is both light-hearted and improvement oriented," says Danny Wax, Co-founder of the app. "We wanted to create an app that entices users to have some fun with their partner and share in that afterglow experience, while encouraging open dialog and feedback." Whereas some couples might have problems approaching topics like the frequency or quality of their sex lives, fun visual and logical feedback, including 30 earned "achievements" (like Seven in Heaven for a seven-minute rendezvous and Quick Spread for three-minute trysts), feels like a low-pressure way of checking in.
Of course, with all wearable and quantified tech comes a gamification component. Spreadsheets shared the stats of its 10,000 early adopters so we could investigate who has cross-country endurance and who's a one-minute wonder. Averaging the intercourse time of all users in the United States (the app doesn't cover foreplay), we've provided a ranking of duration in minutes for all 50 states and the District of Columbia as a little bonus. While finishing times of under three minutes may surprise you, remember that these are just the averages among two-pump chumps and Lotharios alike. Besides, previous research has shown that, despite the hubbub about hours-long tantric sessions, intercourse itself usually only lasts for about 3 to 13 minutes.
Now, sex isn't a race, but there's nothing like healthy American competition. Check out if your state can make it last. If this were the sexual Olympics, New Mexico's got the gold.
1. New Mexico – (7:01)
2. West Virginia – (5:38)
3. Idaho – (5:11)
4. South Carolina – (4:48)
5. Missouri – (4:22)
6. Michigan -(4:14)
7. Utah – (3:55)
8. Oregon – (3:51)
9. Nebraska – (3:47)
10. Alabama – (3:38)
11. Delaware – (3:33)
12. Hawaii – (3:28)
13. Wisconsin – (3:22)
14. North Dakota – (3:18)
15. Arizona – (3:17)
16. Maryland – (3:15)
17. Mississippi – (3:10)
18. Rhode Island – (3:09)
19. Connecticut – (3:07)
20. Texas – (3:06)
21. New Hampshire – (3:04)
22. Wyoming – (3:03)
23. New York – (3:01)
24. Pennsylvania – (2:58)
25. Maine – (2:58)
26. Washington – (2:51)
27. Iowa – (2:50)
28. Illinois – (2:49)
29. North Carolina – (2:47)
30. Tennessee – (2:46)
31. Kansas – (2:38)
32. California – (2:38)
33. Massachusetts – (2:31)
34. Florida – (2:29)
35. New Jersey – (2:28)
36. Indiana – (2:26)
37. Virginia – (2:23)
38. Oklahoma – (2:21)
39. Colorado – (2:21)
40. Minnesota – (2:19)
41. Ohio – (2:18)
42. Louisiana – (2:17)
43. Kentucky – (2:14)
44. Arkansas – (2:08)
45. District of Columbia – (2:08)
46. Nevada – (2:07)
47. Georgia – (2:07)
48. Montana – (2:03)
49. Vermont – (1:48)
50. South Dakota – (1:30)
51. Alaska – (1:21)
*Note: Averages vary dependent on state usage.
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