A very unique addition to Portland, Oregon’s sex-positive culture is scheduled to open its doors this month. Founded by Miss Pixie Fyre, a professional Dominatrix and proprietress of House of Fyre events, Moonfyre Cafe will be Portland’s first ever coffee and kink shop.
Moonfyre Cafe will not be the first of its kind in the nation, as San Francisco already has their own spin on the kink cafe, Wicked Grounds. But it will be the first to open its doors in Portland, joining a number of kink friendly and sex-positive venues that already exist in the area.
The founder and I chatted about making a kink cafe a safe space for kinky and vanilla patrons alike, how Pixie cultivates connection and acceptance in her popular local Fetish Nights, and the ways that Moonfyre Cafe will be propelling the sex-positive revolution forward.
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Tell me about Moonfyre Cafe and what makes it special.
Moonfyre is a cafe for kinky people. I have no intention of hiding that. But I do want to present it in a way that’s accessible. I want our atmosphere to be comfortable and welcoming. I want guests that walk in the door who seem uncomfortable, to be met by trained staff members who can welcome them.
I started this at my Fetish Night. There is never a person who comes to Fetish Night who is not personally greeted by me and the rest of my staff. We are keen to facilitate friendships and connections and conversations, and inspire a sense of negotiation that can be used for pickup play. For people who are playing publicly [for the first time] that’s a really big deal. Conversationally, those people often resort to, “um…I’m kinky!” [laughs] And I remember that moment. I remember that fear of rejection. I remember the, “oh my gosh, what am I gonna see?”
What can I react to? What can’t I react to?
I’m the hostess, but I provide so much more. I like to make people feel welcome. One of my favorite things is when people [at Fetish Night] say, “this was my first event. I’ve been going strong ever since for two years.” I want to be able to continue to provide that. Not many people have a home base.
I want [every experience I facilitate] to be authentic. I want it to be safe. And I want to be able to set that example [at the cafe] so that people feel comfortable and want to come in and take a look.
So is Moonfyre going to be 18+?
Yes, Moonfyre has to be 18+. That’s one of the restrictions that do exist here, you have to be over the age of 18 legally to be able to consent to this type of play and this type of exposure, and to then have the potential to go into areas where nudity will be allowed.
There will not be alcohol served on site which was a very deliberate choice. We believe that the best (and safest) play experiences are done with clear mind and body. We advocate education and safety. It’s our responsibility to provide the safest environment for our guests that we possibly can.
I know a lot of people who are 18 and wanting to explore their sexuality, and they are absolutely allowed to do it. I think that that is also a very critical time for learning safety and consent, the art of negotiation, setting limits, and establishing boundaries. So that is a demographic that I want to make sure is included. It’s an age group that I think is crucial to integrate into our community very quickly. These are the people who it’s important to connect with, to be able to provide them with a community of people who can support them.
One of the things I’m so excited to provide is [this type of] training for my staff. If you have someone coming in who is young and is meeting someone off the internet for the first time, they can tell the staff, “I’m meeting this person for the very first time,” and there can be vetting. And if something goes wrong and they feel uncomfortable, all they have to do is signal to the staff who can say, “why don’t we have you come over here and help us with this,” which will then allow the other person an opportunity to leave.
It sounds like there’s going to be tons of crossover in the approach to the events that you host and the way that things run within the cafe.
Yes, and that was done very intentionally. Just like in the community, you have a lot of trial and error. I wanted to stay very true to the values that I already have in place for my House. Those are things that I want to teach and to cultivate. I want to create a culture, and you can’t create a culture overnight. So to be able to create a culture that has been accepted, and that has helped so many people in the community, that’s when I know that this is successful, that this is needed here.
Having a dungeon and education space within the cafe means there are always going to be different experiences, needs, and play happening. After four years of events in the Portland community, we have created a great space, a great reputation and years of education for our community. That foundation simply needed a permanent location open to everyone in Portland.
How do you think the businesses immediately surrounding the cafe will receive it?
We are lucky enough to be opening our doors in collaboration with a sex-positive location in SE Portland. Our location is surrounded by sex-positive businesses, and we are fortunate enough to have a lot of support! Our building has supplied housing for kink-related businesses for over a decade and we are thrilled to continue the tradition.
I very much want it to by symbolic. I want it to be something that is adult themed, but not a pariah. People of the community are not going to have to turn their eyes away from us. That said, it’s going to be very authentic, and it’s going to involve a lot of outreach where we work with the city of Portland on volunteer projects. We want to maintain a good reputation through our work. We’re not coming in to introduce a sex club (there’s already plenty of that in Portland, and it’s awesome!).
I can’t tell you that it’s going to be flawless. I’m actually looking forward to having haters; that means we’re legit! When that happens, it’ll mean we’re actually making an impact. It’s also an opportunity to change preconceptions; I will never look at those moments as confrontational. Those are opportunities to educate people.
At the end of the day I’m a person: I’m a member of the community, I’m a business woman, I’ve worked in law for ten years as a victim’s advocate. This is something I’m excited about, and I want the experience to be true and authentic. We are here for our community, and we are committed to provided a dedicated safe space.