Dating Advice from . . . Food Writers

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Julie Powell, 35
Author, Julie & Julia

What’s the sexiest food?
Anyone who knows me knows I’m a big, big, big believer in liver as the sexiest food on the planet. The custardy texture, the intense flavor — you have to submit to liver, take it all the way in. A good rare beef liver is like being banged hard against a wall in a skeezy alley behind a nightclub.

What’s the best meal to prepare for someone I’m trying to seduce?

You need to casually impress. Something like the culinary equivalent of carefully procured bedhead. "Oh, this old thing? I just whip this up when I don’t care what I’m eating."

What if I’m more relationship-minded and want to save the seduction for later?
Something you clearly put some work into — look how devoted! Gumbo is perfect — make it spicy.

How do I get a food writer to go home with me?

Promise them food. But don’t promise them fancy-Dan shit. Promise them Wisconsin cheese curds or scotch-bonnet peppers your mom shipped you from Jamaica. Totally authentic borscht or tripe soup like your daddy used to make. If you brag about your single-batch Ecuadorian free-trade chocolate I guarantee you’ll look like an asshole.

I’m seeing someone I’m marginally into. We’re having fun, but I know I don’t want to get serious with him. At what point do I have to break it off?
As soon as you know it’s going to hurt him terribly. If you’re both in it for the short run, no harm, no foul. If he starts wanting to make you waffles in bed, that’s a sure sign he’s in too deep, and you gotta go.

Adam Roberts, 29
Author, The Amateur Gourmet: How To Shop, Chop and Tablehop Like A Pro (Almost)
www.amateurgourmet.com

I want to make a sex tape with the guy I’m seeing, but he’s hesitant. How do I make him more comfortable with the idea?
Promise him you’ll erase it after you’ve watched it once.

What’s the best meal to prepare for someone I’m trying to seduce?
Stick to lighter foods — salads, a simple piece of fish and a light dessert. You’ll be much happier later on.

Sometimes I’m too tired for sex, and my boyfriend takes it personally. How can I let him know it’s not about him?
If it’s literally once a week that you’re too tired, your boyfriend needs to grow up. But if four out of five times you’re saying you’re too tired, there might be something else going on. In that case, you might want to explore whether you and your boyfriend are compatible in that way.

I’m seeing someone I’m marginally into. We’re having fun, but I know I don’t want to get serious with him. At what point do I have to break it off?
The moment you feel like he’s more into you than you’re into him. Stringing someone along like that is deplorable. People deserve honesty, and if you’re honest with him from the beginning about your intentions and he’s okay with that, keep going. If you feel you’re being duplicitous, you should end it right away.

What’s the sexiest food?
Oysters. Just looking at an oyster makes you think of something anatomical.

Kara Zuaro, 29
Author, I Like Food, Food Tastes Good: In the Kitchen With Your Favorite Bands
www.karazuaro.com

My boyfriend of eight months and I are thinking of moving in together, but we can only afford a studio. What should we do?
I dated my husband for six years before we moved in together. I know that’s not normal for New York, but we lived down the street from each other and had roommates we really liked. I think we would have broken up had we lived in a studio apartment together. Wait until you can afford more space.

What’s the sexiest food?
Uni. It’s a type of sushi made from sea urchin, and the texture is very velvety.

What should I cook for someone I want a long-term relationship with?
Something homey like spaghetti and meatballs. If you’re making a family recipe, you’re opening up the conversation to talk about your past.

I’m seeing someone I’m marginally into. We’re having fun, but I know I don’t want to get serious with him. At what point do I have to break it off?
It’s summer. It seems like you can keep things going for as long as possible, at least until he suggests you meet his family.

I want to make a sex tape with the guy I’m seeing, but he’s hesitant. How do I make him more comfortable with the idea?
Unless you’re super-hot and skilled in cinematic lighting, I really think making a sex tape is a bad idea. My porno experience is pretty much limited to internet pop-up ads, but I am definitely familiar with food porn. And I know that lots of amateur photographers put some really disgusting-looking, badly lit, poorly styled food on their personal blogs.

Scott Gold, 31
Author, The Shameless Carnivore: A Manifesto for Meat Lovers
www.shamelesscarnivore.com

Where can I pick up a food writer?
Check out the greenmarket and see who isn’t afraid to get up there and stick their nose into something or do a little happy dance when they find something good.

I’m going on my third date with a guy whose birthday is this weekend. What can I plan that will be "birthday special," but not too romantic or intense for a third date?
I went out with a girl who made me Led Zeppelin cupcakes on my birthday. Though it didn’t work out in the end, this endeared me to her and we dated for a while and remain friends.

Sometimes I’m too tired for sex and my boyfriend takes it personally. How can I let him know it’s not about him?
It’s hard for guys to understand this because most guys are never too tired for sex. If you don’t want sex right at that moment, tell him when you will: "I’m tired tonight, but you can wake me up in the morning."

My boyfriend of eight months and I are thinking of moving in together, but we can only afford a studio. What should we do?
Give it a shot. Being with him all the time in a really small space is a quick test to find out whether you’re going to stay together.

I’m seeing someone I’m marginally into. We’re having fun, but I know I don’t want to get serious with him. At what point do I have to break it off?
Level with the person in a way that’s not mean. If that person is really looking for something serious and you’re not, the sooner the better. The longer it goes on with two people expecting different things, the worse the inevitable breakup will be.

What’s the sexiest food?
Anything with truffles. If a non-meat product can have an animal essence, it’s the truffle.
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