Lauren Hutton, age sixty-two, is posing posing nude for Big magazine. To which we say, let the wacko media appearances begin! A couple of years ago Hutton went on the Early Show to promote her new makeup line, but got off topic and wound up talking about her bisexuality.
    Hutton: "Governments everywhere are men, and it is ancient and insane and shameful."
    Syler: "But let me—"
    Hutton: "We've got to have half and half. That's how God made us, otherwise there's only one of us and probably us. But God knows we wouldn't have come up with bridges or airplanes or lots of stuff. You know, boys have great vision and they're fun in bed. But, so there's certain, fine things for them. It's true. I've been both places. I prefer men."
    The party line on Hutton is "I hope I look that good when I'm in my sixties!" But screw looks; we hope in our sixties we're able to strike fear into the hearts of morning-show anchors. And for that, she is our crush of the week. — Ada Calhoun

"You were right. Anyone arguing with you is wrong. And always, always, where sex is concerned remember that lying is the force that drives it. As dear Mr. Carville said about Mr. Clinton's sexual honesty, 'If it weren't for lying there wouldn't be any sex at all.'"

"I actually find your mathematical fumblings rather alluring."

— Two of many Scanner-reading mathematicians turned on by our recent statistics misreporting (or not — opinions differ)! If only we had the same broad appeal in high school we could have dated the math team instead of acidheads.

You've gotta love European safe-sex ads. This one combines decent postures with decent posters to create indecent acts like fisting and rimming. Tag line: "All sex is fun. Safe sex is sensible."

We always go into sex quizzes thinking that we're going to blow the test's mind with some totally off-the-charts score. And we're always disappointed when the test results don't make us eligible for some sex-positive version of the C.I.A. Recently, we took the BBC Sex I.D. Quiz and found that our "personal brain score" is fifty, dead average for women. We are an "empathiser" and prefer faces with male characteristics. We wasted twenty minutes finding out that we are tediously girly!

"I'm not sure if your website even has a place for poetry, if you could call what I write poetry. Any use for:
I am awake, it's for your sake, I'd rather've slept alone
But kisses from you have changed my mood, please now suck my bone
??"

Let's dispense with the Senate confirmation hearings for Samuel Alito, and just vote not to confirm based on these three images turned up by a Google image search on "Alito."

Black Eyed Peas fans can commemorate the worst song lyric of the year with this T-shirt.

People
The Enemy: Those damn babies who ruin your body! Getting your body — and it is your body, not that little parasite's! — takes "sweat and sacrifice." So take a page from Denise Richards and work out six times a week.