Yeah, apparently they went out on one awful date after Madge broke up with Guy Ritchie, but before she started dating a man named Jesus? Most people are having a (to my mind) rather tired “What is wrong with you, George?” kind of reaction, but I’ve always had a soft spot for Madonna, so I can’t hate (*LAME IRONIC GAY JOKE*). Now, this story is definitely bizarre (and must be taken with a grain of salt, and then about a million more grains after that one), but I’m more interested in picturing exactly what happened on this date, because I can barely even imagine Clooney and Madonna living in the same world, let alone getting dinner together. Join me on a journey into the imagination.
George Clooney got off the private jet he flew from his beautiful Italian villa and looked around at the quaint London street where he landed his bird. He wiped some gold dust off the lapel of his elegant gray suit. Scanner James Madonna was waiting for him in the chic but understated macrobiotic restaurant in front of him. He walked to the door with purpose.
The waitress – once she regained consciousness after passing out at the sight of his face – took him to the back of the room, where Madonna waited in a secluded booth, wearing a combination dominatrix outfit/exquisitely tailored tweed riding costume.
He sat down. She stared at him. Both of them stuggled to keep the bulging wads of hundred dollar bills from spilling out of their pockets.
“I don’t really know what I’m doing here,” said George.
“Yeah,” said Madonna.
And then they both left.