Best of Craigslist: Married, Bored, and Looking

Weird how only ONE out of 16 craigslist ad's we're posted by a woman

Josh commented on Dec 09 10 at 9:43 am

Not really ...

mad-dog commented on Dec 09 10 at 10:09 am

so, everyone, if you have a spouse on a business trip right now they are probably cheating

explainerguy commented on Dec 09 10 at 10:15 am

Married women who want to cheat don't usually have to go through the trouble of posting an ad.

JCF commented on Dec 09 10 at 10:43 am

Hello ladies!

JLS commented on Dec 09 10 at 4:59 pm

You don't use an apostrophe to make a word (in this case, ad) plural. Ever.

Grammar Police commented on Dec 09 10 at 5:37 pm

I'd like to get some male perspectives here (many different ones, since you all don't have some collective unconscious): do the men who get bored with sex with their wives get bored because of lack of variety in their sex or because they inevitably get sick of having sex with the same woman, regardless of how good the sex is? I have such a hard time reconciling myself with the idea of marriage because I never want to be the woman whose husband is posting ads like this. This stuff rips me apart, any insight would be appreciated, thank you.

Depressed commented on Dec 09 10 at 6:06 pm

these depressed me.

AB commented on Dec 09 10 at 8:00 pm

"well groomed mustache" - snigger

ts commented on Dec 09 10 at 8:35 pm

Why the FUCK are half of these from towns I've lived in.

Joe commented on Dec 09 10 at 8:53 pm

My sense of it seems to be a total absence of sex, not lack of variety or the act with the same woman. Something nefarious seems to happen when one reaches middle age where there seems to be a direct threat of completely losing your sex drive. I blame children.

@ Depressed commented on Dec 10 10 at 11:08 am

Grammar,
My perspective. My wife is pretty, but wife no longer feels "sexy" is important. Wife no longer bothers with seduction, flirting, smiling. Wife thinks my encouragements to her - my flirting, tender kisses, whispers are silly. Wife paused during last encounter for 5 minute discussion of sinus medicine. Wife had 2 orgasms during session. while I had one, followed by raging headache. This husband does not want to leave, but is close to calling escort.

Bad Grammer commented on Dec 10 10 at 4:10 pm

And that last comment should have gone to Depressed (which I am) not Grammar Police

Bad Grammer commented on Dec 10 10 at 4:12 pm

@Bad Grammer, I am sorry for your struggles with your wife. Do you think you would be sexually fulfilled if she continued on with the attention you are missing? I just wonder when boredom sets in, regardless of the wife's dedication (I don't mean to exclude wives who are bored with husbands here, but I am a woman and my interest is in the answer from husbands).

Depressed commented on Dec 10 10 at 4:44 pm

@Depressed - definitely a lack of variety or lack of frequency. I think it is interesting to note that at least half of the profiles specifically mention that they are looking for the equivalent of a long-term relationship, so I would not say it is a question of being bored. Also, there are an awful lot of married people who really let themselves go after a few years.

James commented on Dec 10 10 at 4:56 pm

@Depressed - Boredom is there as well, how can there not be when it's perfunctory. She just doesn't try at all. In bed it's always the same thing, almost to the minute. If she would mix it up a little all could be saved, but she has no interest. Oh, and I'm desperate enough that I bought credits at Ashley Madison which I now realize is a scam. Boy do I feel the fool.
But this should not depress you, it doesn't have to be this way, it's up to you and your future mate.

Bad Grammer commented on Dec 10 10 at 5:59 pm

@Depressed - I think most people get bored with their mate after a couple decades. After all these married years, I easily reject invitations from other ladies (rare as they are). What holds me back is that I know how much it would hurt my wife if she found out, and despite being a bit too familiar, I do love her dearly, and I can't bear the thought of causing her pain. I'm also a terrible liar. It's not a perfect situation, but it's not an awful predicament, either.

Philter commented on Dec 10 10 at 11:02 pm

Thanks to James, Bad Grammer and Philter for sharing. I think somewhere between the romanticized idea of marriage we are fed and the completely cynical view, there is a happy balance. It seems from reading comments and talking with friends that both parties end up sort of re-affirming the negative aspects. One partner thinks the other loses interest, so why keep up physical appearances, and then the other partner doesn't have as much desire since the physical appearance gets rough. And it doesn't help that all the ridiculous "women's magazines" feed all this conflicting bullshit to those susceptible to their charms about how "feeling sexy with my curves" but then the next page is step by step instructions on how to dress to hide a less than perfect pinky toe or angular elbow. I think it is fair to say that sexual attraction can't be maintained if one person has really let themselves go, and it is silly to punish someone for wanting their partner to remain in some decent shape. I know some people say that you should love your spouse just the way they are, but I can understand why that would be difficult if they really just stopped being a sexual creature.
@Bad Grammer, for what it's worth, I think the fact that you are thinking about and responding to posts like this suggests that you want it to change and I hope it does and that you don't stray.
@James, I noticed the same thing about the ad. I don't know if that makes me more or less depressed ....
@Philter, that's a really honest answer and that makes me feel optimistic. I think I would just crumple up forever if I got married and my husband cheated on me and I think it is good of you to think that through. I know it isn't as easy for everyone to make that assessment, especially if there are other factors in the relationship that make it easier to want to hurt a spouse.

Less Depressed commented on Dec 11 10 at 12:34 am

@Less Depressed : Regarding your thoughts on "letting go"-- it seems that by that you mean "gaining weight". To me, I've seen people who have "let go" and regardless of shape or size, it just seems that they no longer do anything for themselves-- in turn, how can they extend themselves for their spouse? It's true, weight gain is a sticker but my partner recently gained weight and I don't feel that he let himself go-- just had less time for gym in between being an amazing daddy and spouse to me. If anything, he's sexier than every when I see him with the kidlet, being an awesome person than when he was wearing a size 34" waistband.

So really, it is hard to look at gaining weight as a positive BUT sexuality is completely what someone makes of it and is not a cookie cutter thing. Yes, our bodies change and grow as we get older but does that mean all death? Not by a long shot. Being thoughtful, considerate and GGG all contribute towards keeping your sex life alive and well, even if you are plus sized; besides, many people are overweight and you have to stop and think "Hey, some of them MUST be having great sex". So there's that. Personally, I'm fat but I love to dress up and have a collection of lingerie and even after the years, he still gets that look in his eye. Sigh. Ok, I'm going to go curl up next to my chubby hubby now!!

Dee commented on Dec 12 10 at 11:26 pm

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