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The Modern Materialist

Nostalgia: National Lampoon's Updated Family Vacation Horror

Posted by Steph Auteri

There was a time, after I was an adorable 3-year-old and before I started becoming quite pretty my senior year of high school, in which I was just hideously awkward. And this picture illustrates that well.

But that's off-topic.

My husband's family goes to Disney World quite regularly. His dad runs in the Disney marathon, and his mother and two 20-something sisters...oh, I don't know...tour Disney's Small World? Thing is, they've been asking me to go with them ever since I started dating their darling Michael, and I've been balking every time. Aside from the fact that I would prefer to keep our vacation budget set aside for entirely different pursuits, do I really want to go on vacation with my in-laws!? They're lovely people, but I'm quite quiet in comparison, and a mere evening with them can exhaust my social capabilities.

So I'd like you to provide me with some advice, via a poll and in comments but, before we do that, I think we should consider how souvenirs have evolved since the last time I was at Disney (and that would be the time in the photo above), because the quality of a vacation can sometimes be determined by the quality of things I can waste money on.

And after scouring through Disney's official website, and finding an amazing selection of gorgeous snow globes...

[$79.50 / $149.50, Disney] 

...and this awesome tool that I can use in my quest to become a tween-friendly pop star...

[$16.99, Disney] 

...all I really want to know is...where in hell are the Figment dolls!?

[$4, ebay] 

 

 

 

 

 


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

D La G said:

hmmm.. where exactly is cinderella's hand?

April 16, 2008 7:38 PM

Steph Auteri said:

You perv!!!

April 21, 2008 5:30 PM

About Steph Auteri

Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site -- stephiswrite.com -- and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom.com. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page, https://twitter.com/stephauteri.

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Wendy Atterberry is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. You can often find her at some karaoke dive bar singing her repertoire, which includes "Midnight Train to Georgia," "Daniel," and most recently, "Sweet Dreams." Don't expect her to always hit the right notes. She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site https://www.stephiswrite.com, and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page.

Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer, among other things. Born in Lithuania, she now lives in New Jersey, where she doesn't have to walk to work ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways. Diana cannot afford most of the products she writes about because she buys too many pairs of heels to make up for her shoeless childhood. She's written for MarieClaire.com, Janemag.com, and CosmoGIRL!.

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