If you're a woman in your late twenties and going to have sex with your seventeen-year-old lover, please don't get drunk first. Also, please don't get drunk with your teenage lover, have sex in a train station, and refuse to leave when you are loudly asked to stop fucking each others' brains out over the public address system...

Despite the operator’’s pleas for them to get dressed and desist, the woman of 29 and her boyfriend aged 17 carried on.

In fact, British Transport Police officers had to drive out to arrest the pair and bed them down overnight in cells - separately - before releasing them with cautions the next day.

The incident took place at 11pm at the Wandle Park stop in Croydon, South London.

Even better, the damn lucky bastards got off with merely a night in jail and a strong British scolding. God bless that country...

In other news:

We still can't get over the fact that a woman is named Brooklyn, is hot, and is now getting married to Andy Roddick. 

Joe Francis, founder and douche emeritus of Girls Gone Wild, joins rumored co-stars Khloe Kardashian, Joan Rivers, and Dennis The Menace Rodman at the Big Office In The Sky(scraper) on next season's The Apprentice.

Enough trashing of Canada (people, we were kidding yesterday by the way.)

As of the women of the world's military institutions don't suffer enough: one of their male counterparts has been accused of posting nude photos of his fellow female soldiers on the web.

And Anne Hathaway talks politics:

AP: What inspires you about Obama?

"I was kind of afraid of Obama the first time I saw him. I thought, I've been burned by guys like you before. I've been burned by politicians before that I wanted to believe in and just didn't live up to it. And I was afraid to trust him and I was afraid to have hope when I first kind of became aware of him. It was around the time that he gave his speech on race that I just said 'I can't deny how I feel about you, Barack Obama. I want you to be the president. I want you in the White House.'"