Shaved pubic areas give me the creeps. I just can't help associating that kind of 'baldness' with little girls. I am suspicious of men who dislike this sign of a sexually mature woman. I keep mine under control, but looking down and seeing no hair? Horrible. I think the Landing Strip guy is picking on this as just one unsatisfactory of his relationship...Ironically, it's a cover up.

ella commented on Mar 08 10 at 8:38 am

Start a blog.

Act like a sane human being in the blog. Make it clear that you are open for casual sex in the blog. Have the blog link to your AIM address. Then comment on the blogs of girls who have made it clear that they are interested in NSA sex. Make those comments sane and respectful. Eventually girls will hit you up on AIM.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Bart commented on Mar 08 10 at 10:52 am

@ella
Why is that whenever the pubic hair discussion comes up, somebody feels the need to make the no pubic hair = little girls comparison? Yes, we know. You think its gross. We've all heard it 20 majillion times before. I realize it boggles the mind, but some of us are in fact capable of telling the difference between an adult with no pubic hair and a little girl. And we don't even need to see pubic hair to do it! Noone in the history of even dumb people uses pubic hair to figure out how old someone is. If you're trying that approach, you're doing it wrong.

Lulu commented on Mar 08 10 at 11:26 am

for the guy who wants his wife to groom.. once she starts doing it i'm sure she'll be happy with it. when you get waxed, whether it's a full brazilian or just semi, you just feel sexier and even powerful in a way. it's like you have a secret, like wearing no panties. shaving that area is awful. you get stubble and red dots... blech! go for the wax. it's a bit painful at first but then oh so fine...

and as for the guy who wants a friend with benefits... i have a few of these situations going on. most started with some kind of dating and either we knew we weren't going to fall in love or we just weren't right for each other circumstantially, but we liked each other as people and we felt attracted to one another. in any case, think about some of the women you've dated who fit either of these categories and give it a go, like erin said. you know you already like them, and hopefully they have mutual feelings toward you (the attraction is there but you both know a deep relationship wouldn't work) it's important, though, to be honest in your behavior and in your words. everything should be on the table as far as what you're looking for. be respectful and kind and in those ways everyone feels good about what you share.

clara commented on Mar 08 10 at 12:49 pm

@Libertine: I agree with Miss Info that people you already know make the best fuck buddies, but if you go the stranger route, be aware that she's probably going to want to meet in public first, and she might bolt unexpectedly. Meeting strangers for casual sex is far from being a risk-free endeavour, so respect her boundaries and don't act entitled. Good luck to you.

@Landing Strip: Your Dom-sub dynamic might not allow for this, but I would really encourage you to just say to her (NOT in media res, but during non-sexy-time) "I love it when you're really smooth. Is it possible for you to shave [or whatever her preferred method is] more often?" She might have a valid reason not to want to go bare all the time, or maybe she just didn't think it mattered enough to you for her to bother.

And ENOUGH with the judgement about those of us who prefer to go bare. It's ludicrous and condescending to suggest that anyone who prefers shaved nethers on a woman must be a closet pedophile. It's totally fine for you to not like it yourself, but body-snarking women who do (and the men and women who love to fuck them) is not cool.

kari commented on Mar 08 10 at 3:16 pm

Synchronicity--just read on Belle de Jour's blog, the ad she placed when she was looking for no-strings fun. I'd consider it inspirational . .

By most criteria I'm a reasonable person - not secretly married, or a gold digger, or hiding a meth habit that makes Britney Spears look like Mother of the Year. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) At this point I'd take Britney, Kevin, and the entire cast of backing dancers over some of the frankly puzzling dates I've had recently.

Which brings us to the dilemma: how does an independent young woman find a casual relationship? Am not interested in one-night stands because, let's be honest, taxi fare from the Bigg Market back to mine is extortionate. Also one-off sex is usually crap. I'd like to meet someone several times a month (drinks, dinner and sleeping over optional) who has mojo to spare. Somewhere there must be a gorgeous man with a filthy mind who is up for hot regular sex...

Sounds simple, no? Maybe even appealing? And yet, I can't sodding give it away in Newcastle. There's no secret agenda. No games. I'm congenitally incapable of clingy. Mysteriously, my phone is not ringing off the hook. The trend seems to be meet a lad, go for a pint, and then... nothing. I like exploring the city's real ale haunts as much as the next girl, but this is the very limit.

There's no laundry list of requirements. Let's meet and see whether sparks fly. Granted, if you have a Nobel Laureate mind in a gym-honed bod, that would be a plus. But sexy is in the eye of the beholder - I also fancy Bill Murray.

So if you're a man between 25 and 35 who is not married and not flaky, then this girl would like to start a mutually rewarding sexual relationship with you. Bring your photo and a sense of humour; I'll bring the Astroglide and Nutella.

Peace out, man.

https://belledejour-uk.blogspot.com/

anathema commented on Mar 08 10 at 6:10 pm

I read something the other day (yeah, I know, way to cite a source) that suggests one of the reasons pubic hair exists is to signal sexual maturity to potential mates. Which is interesting. I don't think people who prefer shaved are lusting after pre-pubescent girls, but it does take a certain maturity to accept that body hair is natural and not dirty or revolting. That being said, if you and/or your partner have a strong preference for shaving/not shaving, you should both work to accommodate the other, based on the fact that it is YOUR relationship, and what gets you off, gets you off, despite what popular opinion says.

theobvious commented on Mar 08 10 at 11:28 pm

Anathema--when you find the guy to answer your ad, ask him if he has a brother in NYC and give him my email address. I feel your pain.

theobvious commented on Mar 08 10 at 11:32 pm

You women are doing something wrong if you can't find exactly the situation you're looking for. I know guys that would qualify, there must be plenty more. Heck, I'm one (@theobvious--I'm in New Haven).

Put an adult ad on Craigslist. Or if you don't like the guys that would attract, put out a "casual dating" ad either there or on some dating site. Make it clear you're not looking for marriage anytime soon, nor children. You should be able to attract some decent guys that like the idea of some fun dating that doesn't have the pressure of a ticking clock.

Or find a guy at a bar, make sure he walks away with your number and the idea that you two will go on a date later.

When you finally hit it off with a promising prospect, tell him what you want. Some will say "no" because they're looking for a "real" g.f., but you're bound to find what you want fairly quick.

If you like a guy but he seems to be calling it quits on the dates before you've told him, tell him anyway. He may have decided you two won't work as a "real" relationship, but he might be happy to have a casual relationship with you.

Jay commented on Mar 09 10 at 3:48 am

For those of you seeking someone for more than a one-night stand, but not as much as a relationship, and who is really single and not cheating on someone, and isn't a sleaze, another resource you might consider is people who are way too busy for a relationship but would like some occasional sex anyway. I suspect there are a lot more of these kinds of people lately, because with the economy, businesses are laying off employees, and the ones left behind have to pick up the slack. The problem is finding them, because they aren't going to be hanging out at bars or pretty much anywhere else - they're way too busy for that! And if you hang out in corporate parking lots propositioning the ones who leave really late, they'll think you're a hooker. So hopefully you can find someone through friends-of-friends-of-contacts or neighbors or the like. Other good no-time-for-relationships people might include small business owners who have to work long hours, and grad students and young faculty at universities who hold teaching positions and are also trying to get their research noticed.

JCF commented on Mar 10 10 at 9:50 am

ok, jp, I don't get it. Women shouldn't shave but men should? One could argue that any woman who is interested in men who shave their faces want a man who looks like a little boy. After all, a "natural" adult male has a full beard. The only reason we are used to clean shaven men is IT'S A STYLE. Just like bald pussies are a STYLE. That's all it is, any other significance is your mind but not necessarily the mind of the woman who shaves/waxes or the man who finds it attractive.

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dianajbabin commented on Mar 31 10 at 1:55 am