Jen, 23

Are you single right now?
No, I'm currently dating someone. We've been on and off for three years. We actually went to college together in Virginia. I was his boss at the radio station that we both worked at. He moved up here awhile ago, and long distance sucks, which is the reason for the on and off. 

So when he did move up here, did you guys just get back together instantly?
It was shaky. Both of us just wanted to be friends, but then he asked me to go dinner one night and told me he was still in love with me. So that's how that happened. 

During the off phase of your relationship, did you hook up with other people?
We were both dating other people when we weren't together. We just decided it was best to move on in the interim if we were going to be 300 miles away. 

So now that you're back together, how is the relationship going?
It's good! It's different because we hadn't been dating in the same area code for awhile. It's awesome in some ways but challenging in others because I see him a lot more than I did when I was in Virginia and he was up here. It's great because we spend a lot of time together, but like in any relationship, friendship or otherwise, if you spend a lot of time together when you're not used to it there's a little bit of conflict that can come along with it. Arguing and what have you. We both work nine to five, we both do improv, and we have our friends. There's rarely a night where we don't have anything to do, so just making sure the other person is included and invited to do whatever is good. Since we came from long-distance, I can live without seeing him for a few days. 

So you're in the same social circle with improv. Is it weird having the same group of friends?
Most of the people I know, I do know through him. So when I got up here and we weren't together, it was interesting. Nobody had any beef with me, I was still welcome in the circle and it was great, but it's been interesting because I starting seeing someone else when I first moved up here, someone who knew my current boyfriend. There was a little bit of tension with that. 

How did you keep it hot when it was long distance?
I was not so much into phone sex. I think we did it once and I was drunk. I just felt cheesy about it. And this is something we face as a challenge in our relationship in the same area code. When we missed each other, we had that physical connection, I'd come up here for three days and we'd have a lot of sex for three days. And that was great! But sometimes... women get sore, okay? Like don't touch me, I'm done. But I think the cliche that distance makes the heart grows fonder has some truth to it. When you're with someone for so long but can still look at them with that passion and say,  "I want to tear your clothes off right now."

 

Adam, 23

What do you do?
I'm an actor and waiter.

Does your job get you laid?
I'd like to think so, yes. I think I'm a pretty excellent waiter, actually, but I think it's mostly my singing abilities and my acting — that's actually where I met my current boyfriend.

So what's the story there?
I met him at a callback for a show. It's actually only been a month and a half, so it's fairly new.

So you guys are in the honeymoon stage?
It's still really cute, yeah.

So what are the cute things you do that would make everyone groan?
I think the cute kissing, and the hand-holding, and the PDA can be a little much, but I'm not the type to make animal noises with my lover or anything like that... which my roommate used to do. I think that's more embarrassing than hand-holding.

Yes. Do you think that your roommates hear you having sex?
Probably. I've talked to my one roommate — he's kind of farther in the apartment, so he doesn't really hear it. My other roomate, I didn't really talk to her about it, but I don't think she minds if she hears it. She hasn't said anything yet. I mean, she should be able to have time with her boyfriend, and I should be able to have time with my boyfriend. If she's sleeping, I'm not going to have loud raucous sex and rock the walls in between us. It's about being polite. You should be civil as roommates. Put on some music. It's okay when your roommate's out of the house to be a little louder than normal, but when they're sleeping, keep it gentle.

Well, I'm a heterosexual girl, and I've found the guys that I sleep with aren't very loud. In your experience, are men loud?
Maybe you're just not lucky. You're just going after those quiet guys. Actually, you probably go after louder guys, which means they're probably quieter in bed. You should go and find the quiet dorky types and maybe they're crazy in bed.

I know that that's true.
When I'm with quiet people, I'm like, "Excuse me, I don't know if you're enjoying this or not. Can I hear a little bit of a moan, please?" I ask for it, because I want to know if I'm doing it right.

Do you do some dirty talk? Or do you make it sexy?
I try to keep it sexy, but a little dirty talk doesn't hurt. As long as it's not overboard and it doesn't take me out of the moment. I think it all has to be in the moment and not too far-fetched. As long as it's sexy, it works.

Can you tell me about your favorite sexual memory? What's the first thing that comes to mind when I say that?
Actually, I'm thinking of one of the first times I had sex, and it was with a woman. It was in my Ford Bronco on a beach, and that was pretty hot. It was in public, so the excitement factor was raised. We just pulled up, it was an empty street in broad daylight. We just went for it. We were young and took it by the balls.

 

Whosharel, 30

What do you do?
I'm a data-entry worker.

Has that ever gotten you laid?
No.

Are you in a relationship?
No, right now I'm single and free. You get to look around and see what's out there.

You can do that when you're in a relationship. You just can't do anything about it.
Well, in some relationships you can.

What kind of person would you settle down with?
A woman who's open-minded and liberated in today's modern world.

Does that mean someone who'll sleep with you on the first date?
No. She'll sleep with me if she's in love with me.

Do you think that to have sex you have to be in love?
It's more enjoyable that way.

You've never had a drunken fling with someone you're not in love with?
No, I haven't.

You've never slept with someone you don't love?
No, I have not.

So typically how long do these courtships last before sex enters the picture?
About a week.

You fall in love after a week?
You think it takes longer?

I don't think you can fall in love with someone after a week. I think you can fall in lust with someone after a week and convince yourself it's love so that you can sleep with them. What do you think about that?
To each his own. I don't think it should take too long. I believe in love at first sight. But sometimes it takes a while.

Are you in love with me?
I've looked, and I love you.

So we can have sex tonight?
No.

I'm just trying to play by the rules! Why no sex tonight?
I just met you.

So what are the steps that you take to get to know someone?
I get to know them. Their favorite things, their skills, interests. I wouldn't just say, "I love you," after the first date. I'd look deep within myself and see if it was real.

How many times have you been in love in your life?
Too many times.

Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes, when I was fifteen. She chose someone else. I was so young and nervous. I fell in love because I was new to the world. I hadn't made love yet. I saw her and she appealed to me and it broke my heart that I couldn't go with her.

What's your best love story?
I met her in the schoolyard and we embraced and made love. I was fifteen.

So this happened shortly after the heartbreak, which was also when you were fifteen?
Yes. Luckily. I think I would have died without her. She saved my life.

How long did it go on for?
Oh, it went on and on. It's still going on. Not too often — just every now and then we celebrate a certain anniversary. That's our way of remembering how we came together and how we grew into the world.

Do you think she's the one?
Yes.

Do you want to marry her?
Yes.

Interviews and photography by Lina Canney and Libby Rumelt. Want to talk to strangers in your town? Email .