Carla, 21

I couldn't tell from afar if you were a hot girl or a hot guy. You really have that androgynous thing going on.

I hear that all the time.

Are you into chicks or dicks?

Chicks.

Are you in a relationship?

Yeah, she's right here. She's a zombie, too.

Where did you meet?

At a truck-stop bar in Atlanta called Southern Comfort. Sunday nights they have karaoke, and that's where we met.

Are you going to be having hot zombie sex later?

I hope so.

Are you going to take off the zombie make-up first or keep it on?

Keep it on. Definitely.

What does your zombie blood taste like?

It tastes delicious. It's mostly corn syrup.

Do you have any awful exes whose brains you'd like to eat?

Well, I'm sure there are a lot of girls out there who'd like to eat my brains.

Uh oh, what'd you do to them?

I broke their hearts.

Did you cheat on them?

Maybe a little. I'm kind of a heartbreaker, I guess. In my past I have been.

Are you on your best behavior with your lady now?

Now I am, yeah.

What's your craziest break-up story?

I was with one girl at a party and I left her for another girl. It was pretty brutal. They started beating each other up.

Did you kind of like that they were fighting over you?

No, it was pretty aggressive and I was trying to break them up. I was dealing with this girl, and that girl, and then there was another girl who wanted me, too...

You have a lot of lady-drama going on.

Broads, man.

What's the craziest place you've had sex?

On the hood of a car in the pouring rain.

Was it a '65 Mustang? That would be extra-hot.

It was just a Honda, but it was still hot.

 

Chris, 29

What's your profession?

I am a carpenter by profession, writer/artist by nature.

Does being a carpenter get you laid?

Never. 
Girls tend to think, oh, you're a blue-collar, low-class worker. But we're the salt of the earth. We built the world.

Are you in a relationship?

Yes, I am. It's going surprisingly well. I wasn't looking for anything. She was the roommate of one of my friends. Actually, I was her replacement — she was moving out and I was moving in. We actually overlapped and lived together in her room for the first three weeks that we dated. I just never left after the first night we hooked up. We talked all night long. I saw so much of myself her. It was like I was talking to myself; I forgot who was talking to whom. To this day I forget.

So it's been a long time?

It's been a month and a half. So, not that long, but still. It's odd and serendipitous.

What's the first thing you thought of the first time you saw her?

The first three words I ever said to her were, "You're so cute!" I couldn't help but say that. I thought she was interesting and beautiful. Not even just her face or the way she carried herself — you could just see that she was a beautiful person in every way.

What was your first date?

The first time we hung out we went with our friend to a drag club. She actually thought I was gay the first time she met me. I am somewhat effeminate, because I'm in touch with my emotions and open with how I feel. But I remember looking over at her, and I could see how she smiled and put her lights on me. That turned me on at first. And then we just started talking and realizing how much we have in common. We're both part of four-child families, we're both artists, our favorite dessert is banana pudding, we both call peas "china berries." Stuff like that.

Is your girlfriend here?

She is. She's a zombie, too. She's hanging out with a group of gay guys who have been grabbing my ass all night, which is fine. I just hope they buy me some drinks at least.

Are you planning on having hot zombie sex later?

I don't know. I'm drinking. When I drink, I don't like to have sex, because it's sloppy and messy and never goes well. I'm the romantic type. I prefer making love over fucking. I like connecting with someone and being 100% there. If one of you isn't all there, you're just fucking. I have no interest in that.

What's the craziest place you've had sex?

A spiral tube slide on an elementary-school playground with my high-school girlfriend.

It seems like you definitely prefer sex with girlfriends than with random strangers.

I think sex with random strangers never works. If it does work, then you are fucked up. I think if you can fuck a stranger and get off, then that's sociopathic. I can't do it. It's outside of my physical capability. I have to have a real, strong connection with a person.

What are your turn-ons?

When a girl grabs me from behind and grabs my chest or my ass or anything. If she puts her chest on my back. I like a good reach around, too. If you can reach around and mess with my junk, that's always a good thing.

What are your turn-offs?

Emotional neediness. I tend to be a charmer and a people-pleaser, but if a girl starts to expect me to please her, I don't want to anymore. If she's an emotional alcoholic, and I'm her Jack Daniels, that's a dealbreaker. Also violence. I was with a girl who was on top of me, riding me, and while she was getting off, she hit the pillow next to my head. She said she wanted to smash my face in. She was all nonchalant about it afterwards.

So, you're not into S&M?

No. Definitely not. Plus she slept with a .38 Special next to her bed.

I know some guys who would think that's kind of hot.

It might be kind of hot, if you weren't crazy enough to try to punch somebody as hard as you can mid-coitus.

 

Tony, 42

What do you do?

I'm an air-conditioner repair guy.

Does that get you laid or get you dates?

God, I hope so! It's not like I went to school for a year for nothing.

Have you had any hot, sweaty, broken-air-conditioner sex?

No, but I'm praying on it.

Are you into chicks or dicks?

Dicks. Like this one. [Rubs Chris. Chris' girlfriend glares.]

Are you in a relationship?

No. I don't believe in relationships. It's too much trouble.

What happened to you to make you think that relationships are trouble?

My parents. Their relationship is not something I want to repeat.

What turns you on?

Guys who are young or at least look young. But they can be anywhere from legal to thirties, as long as they look youthful. Young guys do mature faster nowadays more than before, thanks to the internet. I also like them shorter than me so I can spin them around in bed and fuck the hell out of them. But if they're assholes, they don't mean shit to me. Attitude is fine as long as he doesn't think he's God's gift to the earth and that I should bow down to him and beg him for what I want.

Do you have any crazy exes?

I have an ex who is bi-polar. And he did drugs and drank too much. He thought everything should be given to him. He did everything from abusing someone to destroying property. There's a difference between having fun like we are tonight, and going overboard where you don't remember what you did the next day, switching personality. Unless it's switching from straight to gay. [Rubbing Chris, who says "I don't have that switch. I'm all vadge."]

Would you like to have some zombie sex tonight with a hot, gay zombie?

Or even a hot bi zombie [rubs Chris again; Chris' girlfriend moves in front of him and crosses her arms.] Or even watching a straight couple have sex would work for me, too.

 

Axl, 25

What do you do?

I'm in the Army.

Wow, you're the second Army guy I've interviewed tonight. Well, he was in the National Guard.

I'm in the real army. He's in the pretend army. He plays soldier on the weekends.

Do you sleep with women in the Army?

I try to stay away. Keep it professional.

What are your turn-ons?

I'm a tall guy, so tall chicks for me are pretty easy, usually.

Wait, I asked what your turn-ons are. And you're saying that tall girls usually fuck you?

Yeah.

And that's your turn-on? Girls who are easy to fuck?

Well, maybe not when you put it like that. Shit. Hmm, turn-ons... I like an ass. A little bubble butt. When girls show a lot of cleavage, it definitely gets my attention. Outgoing is great.

Any crazy exes?

Facebook's ruined a few of my relationships. Girls will write on my wall, and then other girls will be like "Who is this bitch?" One girl I was seeing messaged another girl I was seeing and told her everything we were doing, trying to ruin it. And she did.

Do you think women try to change you and tame you?

Yeah, I think girls think they can change me. They all want relationships. I guess my style is to try to woo them and make them fall for me, and then they think it's going to go somewhere, but I just want to have fun. I can be kind of a sweet-talker at times.

You mean like, "You're so beautiful," or like, "I think I'm in love with you?"

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Not "I love you," no!

So you don't fuck with their heads.

Oh, I fuck with their heads. I just don't say "I love you." I've only said that to two girls, girls I loved.

What's the most romantic thing you've ever done for one of the two you were in love with?

With one girl, I wrote a poem, I ordered a pizza and made a heart out of the pepperonis, I lit a candle, played some music. I did a whole bunch of shit. And then I took her V-card.

You gave her a pizza and she gave you her virginity?

It sounds really lame, I know. A few weeks later, there was a huge snow storm and I walked like three miles in four feet of snow with roses — hiked up to her house because the roads were closed.

That's sweet. So why did you two break-up?

It was my senior year of college, and I wanted to be promiscuous, and I didn't want to fuck with her. And then I joined the Army. But we still talk. We still hook back up when I go back home.

When do you think you'll settle down?

I always thought twenty-seven seemed like an appropriate age.

Now that you're twenty-five, does that seem kind of soon?

Yeah, I'm not ready. My buddy is twenty-five and married with two kids, and they've got issues, man. I can't imagine being in a serious relationship, much less being married with two kids. So I guess I'm looking at thirty. The older you get, you're like, shit, my time's runnin' out. But it would take the right person.

Who did you talk to when you got lonely in Iraq?

I talked to a lot of exes who I wouldn't talk to now. But you get bored. You need a distraction from everything you're going through.

Some guys don't like sleeping with girls they don't care about. What do you think about that?

That's not the normal guy. They sound sensitive and possibly gay. But that doesn't make me an asshole. I mean, if you're fucking a chick, you're both getting some.

Do you think maybe some women are faking it?

You can fake it all night long, baby girl. At the end of the day, I got mine!

Do you know that you sound like an asshole?

Oh, great. I got a joke, to make me even more of a douchebag: what's the best way to give a girl an orgasm?

What?

Who cares.

You're a douchebag.

It's a joke! I'm kiddin' around!

Interviews and photography by Gilly South. Want to talk to strangers in your town? Email .