New post-orgasm disease gives you the perfect excuse

Finally, a scientific explanation as to why that dude you just had sex with suddenly felt "sick" and asked you to leave! He may or may not suffer from post-orgasmic illness syndrome, POIS, a syndrome in which men have developed a slight to serious allergy to their own sperm. Thus, after coming into contact with their semen, they can develop flu-like symptoms such as headache, fever, and extreme fatigue. These symptoms occur immediately after climax and can last up to a week! Does anyone else see the potential for exploitation in this super-legitimate disease?

Interestingly, the acronym POIS is remarkably similar one we commonly use to describe a piece of shit. As in, "Right after that POS finished, he claimed he felt 'really sick' and said it would be better if I went home. Then he didn't call me for a week! Claimed he was sick the whole time." Don't worry honey, he's definitely super into you. He probably just suffers from post-orgasmic illness syndrome. You know, like the physical manifestation of sexual regret.